I would like to extend to you, an invitation to the pants party. I’m Brick Tamland. People seem to like me because I am polite and I am rarely late. ~ Brick Tamland I think I was in love once. ~ Brian Fantana It’s so...... [read more]

Hey baby, Do you love to play lacrosse because you can have my stick. Hey, girl, I’ll let you cradle my balls. Hey, baby, I don’t know what to do with my hands. Hey, baby, What’s your favorite position. Is that a ball in...... [read more]

Gee, you don’t sweat much for a fat chick. If you were a bugger I’d pick you first Have you read __________(name of book)___________ ? (in a bookstore) Do you have a mirror in your pocket? (Why?) Because I could see myself in your pants....... [read more]

Inheriting eighty million bucks doesn’t mean much when you have a weak heart. Your dad must not have a peπ!s. He’s got a paintbrush! What do you say we go back to my crib and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide...... [read more]

If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you share with me the training routine you used to attain it? Hey, I like the way you elliptical. Want to share a sweat towel? Is that a barbell in your pants or are...... [read more]

If you were a volleyball girl, I’d wear your shirt in the offseason. Hey, number 2! You can be my number 1. Do you want to play volleyball? I have two balls you can play with. Hey, girl! I saw how you serve that, why...... [read more]

Are you Roger Federer’s ground strokes cause baby you’re so elegant. Excuse me miss, could you hold my balls while I get my huge racket out of my bag? Girl, you’re looking like a tennis ball. I just want to hit it. Hey, Girl! Are...... [read more]

I know you love playing soccer, wanna play a soccer lover? I’m like Arsenal: I’ll stay on top, but I’ll finish second. Are you Ashley Young? Cause you can dive on me anytime. Are you David Beckham because I’d bend for you. Is your name...... [read more]

“My other stick curves to the right.” “I’ve been called a dirty player but let’s just see how dirty we can get tonight.” “I said, ‘Would you like a PUCK?’” “Let me show you that I’m good for more than just a one-timer.” “Hi, I’m...... [read more]

Does a bear poop in the woods? No, however, I’m willing to screw in them. Are your pick up lines are strong as your golf game? You would need these golf pick up lines to put it in the hole. I’m a bit tired, so...... [read more]