Inheriting eighty million bucks doesn’t mean much when you have a weak heart.
Your dad must not have a peπ!s. He’s got a paintbrush!
What do you say we go back to my crib and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.
“Fat penguin” (What!?) “I just wanted to say something that would break the ice.”
If I had a garden I’d put your two lips and my two lips together.
Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by you again?
I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I’m the only one talking to you
If you were a booger I’d pick you first.
If I received a nickel for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I’d have five cents.
I’m just a love pirate looking for some b00ty.
Hey baby, is that a keg in your pants? ‘Cause I would like to tap that A$$!
Will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into that cheap motel room.
If I were a fly, I’d be all over you, because you’re the $h!t!
How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice- can I get your number?
Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?
Can you kiss me on the cheek so I can at least say a cute girl kissed me tonight?
What’s your name? Where you from? Do you plan on giving me some?
Mind if I stand here until it’s safe where I farted
If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?
Do you like to dance? Well then, could you go dance so I can talk to your friend?
What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room?
It’s not my fault I fell in love, you’re the one who tripped me!
I may not have gotten your virginity, but can I at least have the box it came in?
Love ain’t nothin’ but S#x misspelled.
The only thing your eyes haven’t told me is your name.
Do you like Bacon? Wanna strip?
My magical watch says you aren’t wearing any panties. Oh, you are? It must be an hour fast!
If I was peter pan you’d be my happy thought!
How about you come sit on my lap and we talk about the first thing that “pops” up!
Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?
Excuse me, is your name Gillette? cause you’re the best a man can get
I have a six inch tongue and I can breath through my ears.
S#x is like Pringles: once you pop, you can’t stop.
Life is like a D!¢K. When it gets hard, “f**k it.
Why do you have to be so damn fine every single day? Can’t you take a break and let me concentrate on something else for a change?
If you were a new sandwich at McDonalds, you’d be called the McGorgeous.
Want to make a P0®no? We don’t have to tape it.
You say “I’m sorry, but you owe me a drink” She says “Why?” You say “Because I dropped mine when I looked at you”
Could I touch your belly button…from the inside?
Why don’t you come over here, sit on my lap and we’ll talk about the first thing that pops up?
First buy an ice cream and find a hot girl, then say “I’m sorry to bother you, but your melting my ice cream!”
Do you know the essential difference between S#x and conversation? No? Want to go upstairs and talk?
Excuse me. Do you want to f**k or should I apologize?
“Do you want to go to breakfast?” (Sure) “Should I call you, or nudge you?”
Do you remember when you were a little kid and you wanted a toy really bad when you went to the store, but your mom wouldn’t let you get it, no matter how much you begged?? Well that’s how I feel about you.
I bet you $20 you’re gonna turn me down.
If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I would be walking through my garden forever.
Love is a sensation, caused by a temptation, to feel penetration. a guy sticks his location in a girl’s destination, to increase the population for the next generation, did you get my explanation, or do you need a demonstration?
Your place or mine? Tell you what? I’ll flip a coin. Head at my place, tail at yours.
I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours?
You know, you might be asked to leave soon. You’re making the other women look really bad.
I bet I can kiss you on the lips without touching you.
Can I even get a fake number?
I’d like to kiss you pA$$ionately on the lips, then move up to your belly button.
Pick up a pack of sugar that actually says, “sugar” on it… then say “You dropped your nametag!”
“I want to tell you your fortune.” Take her hand and write your phone number on it. “There’s your future.”
Whoa, you just gave me the hardest semi I have ever had.
You must work at Subway, ’cause you just gave me a footlong.
What smiles, winks, is hung like a horse, and can last all night long? (smile and wink)
I’ve got some Skittles in my mouth… wanna taste the rainbow?
I’ll cook you dinner if you cook me breakfast.
Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under.
I’m going to have S#x with you tonight, so… you might as well be there.
You make Paris Hilton look like a teletubbie.
Go up to a girl and say “Hi! My name is Haywood Jablomee”
My boys over there bet that I wouldn’t be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful girl in the room. Want to buy some drinks with their money?
You must wash your clothes with windex… because I can see myself in your pants!
If you stood in front of a mirror and help up 11 roses, you would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world.
If I had a nickel for every time I saw a girl as beautiful as you I’d have about… 5 cents.
When God made you, he was showing off.
Your skin is so creamy I bet you never even had a zit on your A$$.
I’m not actually this tall, I’ve got this bad habit of sitting on my wallet.
You are the most interesting piece of A$$ i’ve talked to all evening.
Do you believe in the hereafter? Well, then I guess you know what I’m here after.
Give me three good reasons why I shouldn’t buy you a drink.
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
Hey beautiful…that is your name right?
Do you know the difference between my peπ!s and a chicken leg? No? Well, let’s go on a picnic and find out!
Why don’t you get down on your knees and smile like a doughnut?
You say “You look just like my first wife” She says “How many times have you been married?” You say “never”.
I’ve had quite a bit to drink, and you’re beginning to look pretty good.
When I’m older looking back at all of my finest memories, and I’ll think of the day my children were born, the day I got married, and the day that I met you.
I’m going outside to make out… care to join me?
Do you have any raisins? No? How about a date?
The word of the day is legs. Let’s go back to my crib and spread the word.
If your left leg is Thanksgiving, and your right leg is Christmas, can I visit you between the holidays?
You’re like a prize winning fish… I don’t know whether to eat you or mount you.
Nice shoes, wanna f**k?
You say “Do you want to do a 68?” she says “What’s that?” you say “You go down, and I’ll owe you one.”
If you’re going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon.
Come on sweetheart, why don’t you just let me put the head in… – what a clA$$ic
Let’s go to my place and do the things I’ll tell everyone we did anyway.