Us baseball players know our way around the bases.
Like a platoon player, I’m dying to get some action
As a baseball player, I know my way around the bases.
They say to bat me 2nd because I’m a good 2-hole hitter
We must be in the bullpen because you’re warming me up.
Girl is your name baseball, cause I just want to hit it.
Did you just hit me with a pitch? Cuz I’m feeling faint.
If you were a baseball mit, would you catch my fly balls?
Play in my extra innings, I guarantee I’m a long reliever
Would you just take one for the team, and go out with me?
Unlike Dee Gordon, I give you full permission to tag my butt
I’m an umpire. Now, give me your number so I can make the call.
Are you in the on deck circle? Cuz you’re up next (to date me).
You know, I’ve never needed a third base coach to wave me home.
Your pitch must have hit me because I’m feeling a little faint.
Are you Eric Sogard because there’s no way I’d ever forget your
You’re like baseball: I’d love to play you in front of a crowd.
They call me “The Lead” because the A’s bullpen wants to blow me
Hey girl, I’ve been warming up this bench for you MY WHOLE LIFE.
Are you Sonny Gray cos I just wanna stare at your curves all day
My love for you is like the A’s and Daric Barton: it never dies.
What’s the “win probability” of me taking you home tonight, baby?
If you were a baseball and I was a bat would you let me hit that?
I hope you’re good at catching cause I’m starting to fall for you.
Are you Anthony Recker because I just wanna let you pull my dinger
You can call me the A’s because I’m destroying that Kitty right now
Of all the butts in all the locker rooms, well, yours is way better.
come back to my place and i’ll show you what a real sabermagician does
You’re like baseball: You make me all nervous and then nothing happens.
All the other guys out there are like broken bats, I’m a good, hard wood
What’s long and hard and intimidates everyone? My BAT. Isn’t it adorable?
Hey girl. do you have a club option? Because my interest in you is mutual.
Babe, I didn’t forget about you, how bout if I call you up this September?
Yeah girl, I could take you to the ball, or I could bring the ball to you…
The game’s getting boring, wanna go back to my place and make it a blowout?
So am I gonna be your closer tonight, or are you putting me in middle relief?
Looks like you’re the big ticket free agent, and I got a lotta money to spend.
You’re getting a long one tonight, and I’m not talking about the Home Run Derby
Wanna hear a joke? The Blue Jays. Wanna hear something serious? My love for you.
They call me the Arizona D’Backs because I always play ball games late into the night
They call me Derek Jeter because I got loose hips and I’m good at stroking balls away
Two more follows and we can start the giveaway! Come on people, I draw pretty okay too
If you were a reliever, I’d sign you up to a three year contract with a vesting option
They say I’m like John Jaso because I’m all clear to be behind your plate all summer long
After this early morning spring training workout, you wanna come be my afternoon delight?
Hey babe, now that the season’s over, lets go back to my place and watch the highlight film
Even though there’s no ball game on tonight, ill still be slamming something out of the park
Uhhhh, my lead off’s not great, and though I may be off base, I’d like to take you on a date.
Hello, I’m a thief, and I’m here to steal your heart. Just like Dee Gordon when he steals bases!”
Baseball players only wear one glove so they can leave the other hand free to hold girls like you.
Babe, there’s a few tough road series coming up, but if we can make it through them, I’ll know it’s real.
I know I’m out of options, but I’ll fight my way in and prove to you that I can make your team into a contender
I just want something quick to fill a gap, let’s hook up on a one-year deal and then look at our option years later
I got a private conference in my hotel room at the winter meetings, come on up if you wanna look at my trade package
Are you accepting applications for your fan club? I’d love to join since I’m already a member of the Mr. Met fan club!
Is that a batting glove in your pocket, or do you have kind of a lumpy butt? Cuz if you do, that’s cool. I’m not picky.
You’re like a student and I am like a math book, you solve all my problems! Just like Billy Beane when it comes to acquiring key baseball players who always get on base.
Well, here I am. What are your other two wishes? Sorry, but you can’t use one on the Seattle Mariners winning a World Series championship just because they signed Robinson Cano for a decade-long contract.
Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right? I was just curious since this is Derek Jeter’s last season, if you had a chance to see him one last time before he retires? We could go if you’d like!