I know you love playing soccer, wanna play a soccer lover?
I’m like Arsenal: I’ll stay on top, but I’ll finish second.
Are you Ashley Young? Cause you can dive on me anytime.
Are you David Beckham because I’d bend for you.
Is your name Luis because I am hot as Figo without the ego.
Is your name Patrice because I want to keep you for Evra.
Are you Valdes because I want to teach you how to handle balls.
Hey is your name Vincent because I need your Kompany.
You’re allowed to use your hands in this game.
Is your name Joe? Cause you’ve won my Hart.
Are you Messi? Cause I am dribbling all over you.
I won’t give you a yellow card if you take off your shirt.
Can you be Zidane tonight because I want some head?
I like Ronaldo, But I’d like to get Messi.
Are you Suarez? Cause I’ll let you bite me all night.
If I buy a soccer ball, will you kick it with me?
Football players can go for 90 minutes and know 11 different positions. Just letting you know!
I bet you play soccer because you’re a keeper.
Hey, did you know I’m part of a football team? (Really?) Yeah, hopefully, I score tonight.
I can be Manchester City, and you can be Tottenham. In other words, I am going to screw you hard tonight.
Guy: Wanna go out?
Girl: I have a boyfriend.
Guy: It’s just like soccer, just because there’s a goalie doesn’t mean you can’t score.