Why do all the trees in Minnesota lean east? Wisconsin Sucks
Hey, girl, guess what? (What?) I’m related to Aaron Rodgers.
You must be Swiss cheese because “holey” crap you’re gorgeous.
I bet your father was a good farmer, cause you’re one fine hoe.
Looking at you gives me that Packers-won-the-Super-Bowl feeling.
What do you call a Wisconsin Badger in a BCS bowl game? A referee.
What are the best four years of a Marquette grads life? Third grade
What do Marquette grads use for Birth Control? Their personalities.
What is a Badgers fan’s favorite whine? “We can’t beat Ohio State.”
Baby, you are prettier than a beer truck pulling into my driveway.
Why does a Badgers fan pour his cereal on a plate? He lost his bowls.
Why do Marquette students have TGIF on their shoes? Toes Go In First!
Why did Wisconsin disband its water polo team? All the horses drowned.
Why do Marquette fans smell so bad? So blind people can hate them too.
How did the Marquette grad die from drinking milk? The cow fell on him!
What does a girl from Green Bay do if she’s not in bed by 10pm? Go Home.
What does the average Marquette University student get on his SAT? Drool.
Why do Marquette students have such beautiful noses? They’re hand picked.
How do you casterate an Wisconsin Badgers fan? Kick his sister in the mouth
How do you break a Wisconsin-Green Bay grads finger? Punch him in the nose.
What separates a good team from a great team? The Michigan-Wisconsin border.
Why don’t girls play hide and seek in Wisconsin? No one would look for them.
How does a dumb blonde get into college? She applies to Wisconsin-Green Bay.
Country boys don’t need pick-up lines, cause we’ve got pick-up trucks. *wink*
What is th difference between a bucket of $h!t and a Badgers fan? The bucket.
I would endure ten continuous Wisconsin winters just to go on a date with you.
What do you call a Wisconsin football player with a championship ring? A thief!
I have the state of Wisconsin tattooed on my butt. (Really?) Yeah, want to see?
How do you stop an Wisconsin fan from beating his wife? Dress her in Buckeye Red!
How do they separate the men from the boys in Wisconsin? With a restraining order.
Whats the difference between Madison and yogurt? Yogurt has an active living culture.
What do they call students who go to Marquette? Rejects from University of Wisconsin!
How do you confuse an Wisconsin-Green Bay student? You can’t they were born that way.
What do Wisconsin and Marquette students have in common? They both got in to Marquette
What happens when blondes move from Minnesota to Wisconsin? Both states become smarter!
What did the Wisconsin female say after S#x? Get off me Dad, you’re crushing my smokes!
What’s the first thing a Wisconsin girl does when she wakes up in the morning? Walks home.
What do the University of Wisconsin and pot have in common? They both get smoked in bowls!
What’s the one thing that keeps Badgers basketball players from graduating? Going to ClA$$.
What will you never hear a Wisconsin-Green Bay grad say? “I have reviewed your application……”
Why are rectal thermometers banned at Marquette University? They cause too much brain damage!
What do you get when you drive quickly through the Marquette campus? An undergraduate degree.
How do you make University of Wisconsin cookies? Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours.
What is the definition of safe S#x down in Wisconsin? Placing signs on the animals that kick.
Why aren’t Wisconsin-Green Bay cheerleaders allowed to do the splits? They stick to the ground.
Did you hear that 9 out of 10 coeds are good looking? The other one goes to Wisconsin-Green Bay.
Why is “The Wave” banned in BMO Harris Bradley Center? Two Golden Eagles fans drowned last year.
How is a Madison girl different from a bowling ball? Sometimes a bowling ball is hard to pick up.
How many Marquette grads does it take to change a lightbulb? None. Lava lamps don’t burn out man!
What is the definition of a Wisconsin virgin? An ugly twelve year old who can outrun her brothers..
What does it say on the back of every Milwaukee Area Technical College diploma? Will Work For Food.
How do you get a Wisconsin-Green Bay fan to laugh all weekend long? Tell him a joke Monday morning.
Why did the Fox Valley Technical College grad cross the road? Better question why is he out of jail?
Why did the Wisconsin football team cross the road? Because it was easier than crossing the goal line.
What does a Wisconsin native and a bottle of beer have in common? They’re both empty from the neck up.
Why do they not serve ice in drinks at Badgers games anymore? The student who knew the recipe graduated
Do you know what you have in common with this beer? (Uhhh, no.) You’re both tall, bubbly, and delicious.
How do you get from Chicago to Madison, WI? Go north until you smell $h!t and west until you step in it.
Why do the Wisconsin Badgers eat cereal straight from the box? They choke whenever they get near a bowl.
Girl, you could be wearing Real Tree in the woods, and I’d still be able to pick out that beautiful face.
What’s the difference between Camp Randall Stadium and a cactus? The cactus has its pr!ckz on the outside.
Whats the difference between the Wisconsin Badgers and cheerios? One belongs in a bowl. The other doesn’t!
Did you hear that Marquette’s football team doesn’t have a website? They can’t string three “Ws” together.
Why do they sell so many button-fly jeans in Wisconsin? Because the sheep can hear the zippers a mile away.
How many University of Wisconsin freshman does it take to change a light bulb? None, it’s a sopH0m0re course.
What does a Wisconsin Badgers fan do when his team has won the BCS championship? He turns off the PlayStation 3.
What do tornadoes and graduates from the University of Wisconsin have in common? They both end up in trailer parks.
What’s the difference between a Milwaukee Area Technical College diploma and toilet paper? About $50,000 per sheet.
What’s the difference between an Wisconsin football player and a dollar? You can get four quarters out of a dollar.
What should you do if you find three University Of Wisconsin football fans buried up to their neck in cement? Get more cement.
Why did the Wisconsin regents decide to cover Camp Randall Stadium in cardboard? Because the Badgers always look better on paper.
What’s the difference between an Wisconsin Badgers fan and a carp? One is a bottom-feeding, sC^m sucker, and the other is a fish.
Why did Wisconsin change their field from grA$$ to artificial turf? To keep the Badgers cheerleaders from grazing the field at halftime.
If you have a car containing a Badgers wide receiver, a Badgers linebacker, and a Badgers defensive back, who is driving the car? The cop.
Why do Wisconsin Badgers basketball players use body heat activated deodorant? Because it’s the closet they will come to getting a “Degree”.
Why should the Wisconsin-Green Bay Phoenix change their uniforms to Orange? So they can play the game, direct traffic, and pick up trash without changing.