One game of penochle and your desitin A$$ is mine.
My hips don’t lie…except for the artificial one.
Hey baby, I’m rich and probably going to die soon.
Hey babe, How ’bout we snort some Maalox together.
I wouldn’t mind seeing you for the rest of my life.
Either my pacemaker just shot craps or I’m in love.
Wanna sit on my lap and take a ride on my Hoveround?
Have we met before? No, seriously, have we met before?
I can’t remember what S#x is. Care to help me remember?
Is that a shattered hip, or are you just happy to see me
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and broke your hip?
By me a drink and I’ll take out my teeth for a good time.
What’s a nice girl like you doing in… wait, where am I?
I’m going to a funeral tomorrow…do you want to join me?
Do you want to get dinner with me? Must be between 4-4:30.
No, I didn’t have a stroke; I was actually winking at you.
Let’s move things to the bedroom. We can use my stairlift.
As soon as I get my hip replacement, I’m going to hump you.
Why don’t you and I share a sunset near the local pharmacy?
Hey beautiful, they still let me drive. Wanna go for a ride?
I have a little blue pill, and it has your name all over it.
I want to sweep you off your walker and into your wheelchair.
I’m dieing to see you. Literally. I don’t have much time left.
Hey baby, my BØØBs are looking right at your peπ!s down there.
What’s a nice girl like you doing in a nursing home like this?
Can I share your oxygen tank? Because you took my breath away.
Where have you been all my life? Because I’m about to die soon.
Is that your catheter line…or are you just pleased to see me?
Hey, wanna good time? I bought some great Viagra back from Bali?
Is that a Depends under your pants or are you just glad to see me?
I’ve got a Victrola back in my room. Wanna hear my Sinatra record?
Is that a catheter in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me
Your name must be Alzheimer, because the Kaiser stole my pudding…
When i look at you, my arteries aren’t the only things that harden.
Are those your S#xs in your socks or are you just happy to see me?
As long as I have this wheelchair, youll always have a lap to seat on
You and my cardiac stent have something in common, my heart needs you
I should have brought my oxygen tank because you take my breath away.
Baby, you must be dentures because I need to take you out every night.
I must not have alzheimer’s today because I remember how cute you are!
Do you like flowers because I can see a flower just by looking at you.
Just gotta new hip replacement. How’s about you and me take it for spin?
Hey babe, wanna come over to my place and compare prescription drug plans?
Babe I just want to take you home and show you my big… medicine cabinet.
Your teeth look great, but they’d look even better in a jar next to my bed.
Do you believe in love at first sight, ’cause, if so, I’ll grab my bifocals.
You remind me of my false teeth, cos I’d love to take you out for the night.
I like the look of your diaper. It would look even better on my bedroom floor.
Hey, I just got my new teeth. Want to join me for dinner so I can test them out?
Waiter, you have an aged, dry white? Something to complement the little lady here.
I got a pill I could take back at my place, if you could tell me where my place is.
Hey baby, is that a urinary drainage bag in your pocket, or are you glad to see me.
I’ve fallen for you and I can’t get up! No worries though, life alert is on its way!
Do you really need that scooter? Because youve been running in my mind all day long.
Ma’am, you’re so fine I don’t even need a Viagra! But I’ll take one anyways. Or two.
I’m on my fourth hour so let’s get this done so you can get me to the emergency room.
I got a bottle of wine and a new pack of Depends in my scooter if you’re feelin’ frisky.
Honey, you’re playing with my heart. At least the dial that controls my Pacemaker.Heart,
Everyday will be like our first day together cause I won’t remember any of this tomorrow.
Hey, can I borrow your Hearing Aid? My last girlfriend disappeared without returning mine!
You remind me of someone I met during the summer of 1969, those were the best days of my life.
Sit in my lap and let’s talk about the first thing that pops up, or until my legs fall asleep.
Getting lucky usually means finding my car in the parking lot, but tonight you can change that.
Let’s make sweet love in the backseat of my car by the light of the blinking left turn indicator.
My kids are all grown up. We can have the house to ourselves, until I fall asleep around 7, 7:30 pm.
May I take you to dinner? Next Monday would be best because that’s when my social security check arrives.
You ever been with a man that has Parkinson’s? You won’t need to do a thing. Just hold on tight and I’ll do the rest.
Did it hurt when you fell from the sky or have I finally made it to Heaven. If that’s the case I didn’t feel a thing!
Check my prostate if I’m wrong, but do I know you from somewhere?If I’m wrong, Come here often? I seriously can’t remember.
About Annie Rosy
Annie is a writer who likes to focus on funny pick up lines. She enjoys making people laugh and feel good, and thinks that using a clever line can be the perfect way to start a conversation. When she's not writing, Annie loves spending time with her friends and family. She's always up for trying new things, and is always looking for ways to make life more fun.
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