How do you double the value of a Chevy? Put gas in it.
What is the smallest part of a FIAT? The owners brain.
What car does a Proctologist drive? A brown Ford Probe.
What do you call a VW bus at the top of a hill? A miracle.
[Top 50] Terrible Car Puns Not to be Uttered!
The driver behind you wants to go five miles per hour faster
You can get “anywhere” in ten minutes if you go fast enough.
The vehicle in front of you is traveling slower than you are.
Where do Volkswagens go when they get old? The Old Volks home!
How do you tell when a mid-engined Ferrari is warmed up? It’s on fire.
How do you improve the appearance of a Chevy? Park it between two Fords
Driving a Porsche in London is like bringing a Ming vase to a football game
Apparently I snore so loudly that it scares everyone in the car I’m driving.
Isn’t it weird how when a cop drives by you feel paranoid instead of protected.
How is a golf ball different from a Chevy? You can drive a golf ball 200 yards.
Why are there sidewalks beside streets? So Ford owners have a safe place to walk home.
What is found on the last two pages of every Chevy’s owners manual? The bus schedule.
How do you make a Ford accelerate 0-60 mph in less than 15 seconds? Push it off a cliff.
What do the British drink warm beer? Because Lucas Electronics makes their refrigerators.
What’s the difference between a Kia and a tampon ? A tampon comes with its own tow rope.
What’s the good thing about Fords? They come out of the factory with the problem circled.
I gave up my seat to a blind person in the bus. That is how I lost my job as a bus driver.
A truly reckless driver is one who pA$$es you when you are already exceeding the speed limit
Don’t worry guys, my wife just turned the car radio down so we shouldn’t be lost much longer.
I bought a new Japanese car. I turned on the radio… I don’t understand a word they’re saying.
What’s the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? A porcupine has the pr!ckz on the outside.
My wife had her driver’s test the other day. She got 8 out of 10. The other 2 guys jumped clear.
Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
What’s the difference between BMWs and Porcupines? Porcupines carry their pr!ckz on the outside.
Speed bumps are of negligible effect when the vehicle exceeds triple the desired restraining speed.
Guy walks into my parts store. Says “I need a gas cap for a Ki” I said, okay, sounds like a fair trade.
Why don’t Chevy’s sustain much damage in front end collisions? The tow truck takes most of the impact.
Children in the back seats of cars cause accidents, but accidents in the back seats of cars cause children.
What do women and police cars have in common? They both make a lot of noise to let you know they are coming.
Why did Ford make a new heated tailgate? So your hands stay warm when you’re pushing it back home in the winter.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the pA$$engers in his car.
There are a lot of female hormones in beer. When I drink five bottles I also can’t drive a car and start behaving illogically.
What did the store employee say when the customer said, “I’d like a set of wiper blades for my Kia”? “Sounds like a fair trade.”
My wife is so negative. I remembered the car seat, the stroller, AND the diaper bag. Yet all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.
About Annie Rosy
Annie is a writer who likes to focus on funny pick up lines. She enjoys making people laugh and feel good, and thinks that using a clever line can be the perfect way to start a conversation. When she's not writing, Annie loves spending time with her friends and family. She's always up for trying new things, and is always looking for ways to make life more fun.
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