“I’m Not Actually This Tall. I’m Sitting on My Wallet.”
“Is Your Name WiFi? Because I’m Really Feeling a Connection.”
“If Looks Could Kill, You’d Be a Weapon of MA$$ Destruction.”
“Girl, if You Were Words on a Page, You’d Be FINE Print.”
“Hi, Do You Have a Few Minutes for Me to Hit on You?”
“Like a Broken Pencil, Life Without You Is Pointless.”
“If I Had Four Quarters to Give to the Four Prettiest Girls in the World, You Would Have a Dollar.”
My biggest deal breaker? I’d have to say…textiles purchased in the IKEA Marketplace.
Who needs a sofa when your mattress is as good as mine?
I was married. But lorem ipsum dolor, we’re divorced.
Particleboard is not part of my lifestyle.
Hey, can you find my G-spot? No, to the left. A little more. A centimeter to the right. Yes, that’s it! That perfect wood accented typographical vortex is such a turn on, isn’t it?
With curves like yours, who needs crown molding?
You can’t get more hardcore than the West Elm catalog. I mean, really. Must we see the shelving inside your cabinets? We get it. You shave.
Funny that you say that. My last girlfriend broke up with me because I didn’t come with enough baggage.
I’m not a commitment-phobe, per se. I’m just not ready for a kitchen table right now.
I’ll be your ottoman if you’ll be my settee.
I’m looking for the perfect long-term silhouette to fill up some negative space in my loft. Could you be that shadow?
Feel the grain on that rosewood credenza file cabinet sourced from the Herman Miller mid-century archives: that’s boyfriend material.
I think I’ve seen your picture somewhere before. Oh yeah, that’s right. It was in the dictionary next to equilibrium.
About Annie Rosy
Annie is a writer who likes to focus on funny pick up lines. She enjoys making people laugh and feel good, and thinks that using a clever line can be the perfect way to start a conversation. When she's not writing, Annie loves spending time with her friends and family. She's always up for trying new things, and is always looking for ways to make life more fun.