Pig puns are so boaring.
I was in the zoo last week. Really? Which cage were you in?
I took my son to the zoo yesterday. Really, did they accept him?
By shear coincidence, all these sheep look the same.
These giant squid jokes are kraken me up!
Why do crabs never give to charity? Because they’re shellfish.
I hate insect puns, they really bug me.
A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was ticketed for littering.
The best way to communicate with a fish is to drop them a line.
A bear was killing moose for entertainment but in the end he wasn’t amoosed.
The duck was in rehab because he was a quackaddict.
Cuddling a cat usually leaves you feline good.
How does a farmer count cows? With a cow-culator
I’m so purrfect that whenever I meet a pretty girl, I whisker away.
Where did Noah keep his bees? In the ark hives.
What do you call a magic dog? A Labracadabrador.
The best way to communicate with fish is to drop them a line
What do you call bees that are fat? Obeese
I saw a beaver movie last night, it was the best dam movie ever.
I went to a seafood party last week, I pulled a mussel.
What’s a cow eating grA$$? A lawn mooer.
What city has the largest rodent population? Hamsterdam
I’ve got a chicken-proof front lawn. It’s impeccable!
What happens when a sheep, a drum and a snake fall from a cliff? BA DUM TS
My friend was annoying me with bird puns but toucan play this game.
Have you got any advice?” “Yes,” replied Dracula, “have lots of giraffes.”
Some vampires went to see Dracula. They said, “Drac, we want to open a zoo.
When an ape visits his tailor, what kind of a suit does he order? A zoo-t suit!
You don’t see many reindeer in zoos, do you? No. They can’t afford the admission.
Why did the Irishman buy two tickets to the zoo? One to get in and one to get out.
Come on, Fred, I ll take you to the zoo. If the zoo wants me, let them come and get me!
Zoo visitor: What’s the new baby hippo’s name? Hippopotamus keeper: I don’t know, he won’t tell me.
Caller: Finally! I got through! I’ve been trying to call the zoo for hours! Zookeeper: Yes, all our lions were busy!
What did the zoo keeper say when he saw four elephants walking over the hill towards him wearing sunglA$$es? Nothing, he didn’t recognize them!
What did the Hollywood producer say to the Apes in the zoo when they refused to sign contracts to appear in his new film? Stop playing it cagey!
Zoo Keeper:”I’ve lost one of my elephants” Other Zoo Keeper:”Why don’t you put an advert in the paper?” Zoo Keeper:”Don’t be silly, he can’t read!”
A man went to work for a zoo veterinarian. “Look in the lion’s mouth,” the vet told him. “How do I do that?” he asked. “Carefully,” replied the vet.
What’s the difference between a Northern zoo and a Southern zoo?In a Northern zoo you have the name of the animal and the Latin name underneath. In a Southern zoo you haven the name of the animal and a recipe underneath.
“So how was it?” Elaine asked when they returned home. “Great,” Little Jordan replied. “Did you and your father have a good time?” asked Elaine. “Yeah, Daddy especially liked it,” exclaimed Jordan, excitedly, “especially when one of the animals came racing home at 30 to 1!”
A Scotsman paying his first visit to a zoo stopped by one of the cages”An’ whut animal would that be ?” he asked the keeper.”Thats a moose from Canada”, came the reply.”A moose !!”, exclaimed the Scotsman. “Hoots, mon, if that’s a moose then they must ha’ rats the size of elephants over there !”
FRED: Did I ever tell you about the time I came face to face with a very fierce gorilla? BERT: No, what happened? FRED: Well, I stood there, without a gun . . . The gorilla looked at me and snarled and roared and beat his chest. Then it came closer and closer . . .BERT: What did you do? FRED: Oh, I’d had enough, so I moved on to the next cage.