[Top 60] “What’s The Difference Between” Jokes and Memes!

[Top 60] "What's The Difference Between" Jokes and Memes! 1
 
What is the difference between a husband and a boyfriend?
45 minutes.
What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?
About 45 pounds.
What is the difference between me and cancer?
My dad didn’t beat cancer…
What is the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?
The bucket.
What is the difference between a baby and a baked potato?
About 140 calories.
What is the difference between a politician and a flying pig?
The letter F.
What is the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can’t hear an enzyme.
What is the difference between a black guy and a syringe?
The syringe can pull out
What is the difference between a baby and an onion?
i cry when i chop up an onion
What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.
What is the difference between butter and a blonde?
Butter is difficult to spread.
What is the difference between light and hard?
It’s easy to get to sleep with a light on.
What is the difference between a baby and an onion?
One screams when I peel it’s skin off.
What is the difference between a shooter and a bullied autistic kid.
Depends who’s shooting
What is the difference between a bar and a cl!tor!s?
Most men have no trouble finding a bar.
What is the difference between a violinist and a dog?
The dog knows when to stop scratching.
What is the difference between Princess Diana and Casper the ghost?
Casper can go through walls.
What is the difference between a blonde and a masqueto?
A masqueto stops sucking when you slap it
What is the difference between God and a social worker?
God doesn’t pretend to be a social worker.
What is the difference between hooker and a mosquito?
The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
What is the difference between a blonde and a Porsche?
You don’t lend the Porsche out to your friend.
What is the difference between a baby and a salad?
Most people don’t get angry when you toss a salad.
What is the difference between a school and a isis military base?
Don’t ask me I only fly the drone…
What is the difference between a Catholic priest and Acne?
Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.
What is the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he’s hooked up to?
The computer runs.
What is the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag?
The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
What is the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?
You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline!
What is the difference between a feminist and suicide vest
a least one does something when it is triggered
What is the difference between a gay guy and a freezer?
The freezer doesn’t fart when you pull the meat out
What is the difference between Princess Diana and Elton John?
Princess Diana never became a queen of England.
What is the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
What is the difference between George Michael and a microwave oven?
A microwave stops when you open the door.
What is the difference between a blonde and a computer?
You only have to put information into a computer once.
What is the difference between a priest and acne?
At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.
What is the difference between Bigfoot and an intelligent blonde?
There have actually been sightings of Bigfoot
What is the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead hookers.
i don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
What is the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him ?
It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
What is the difference between America and a bottle of milk?
In 200 years the milk will have developed a culture.
What is the difference between a baby and a refrigerator?
The refrigerator doesn’t squeal when I put my meat in it.
What is the difference between the Dresden bombing and Germany’s best comedian?
Only the first one can make you smile.
What is the difference between a pizza delivery guy and a cop.
pizza guys get punished for not doing their jobs properly
What is the difference between a dumpster full of dead babies and a Lamborghini?
I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
What is the difference between Rubik’s cube and a br….?
I don’t know but they both get harder the more you play with them
What is the difference between a man and Bigfoot?
One is covered with matted hair and smells awful. The other has big feet.
What is the difference between a marriage and a mental hospital?
At a mental hospital you have to show improvement to get out.
What is the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi?
People in Dubai don’t like the Flintstones but people in Abu Dhabi doooo.
What is the difference between American teenage girls and Muslim teenage girls?
American teenage girls get stoned before they have S#x.
What is the difference between a general pracS#xioner and a specialist?
One treats what you have, the other thinks you have what he treats.
What is the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with BØØBs?
One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon.
one smashes open when you hit it with a sledge hammer and the other is a water melon
What is the difference between a man and childbirth?
One can be terribly painful and sometimes almost unbearable while the other is just having a baby.
What is the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies?
U can’t unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitch fork.
What is the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
What is the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
1) After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.2) A dog only takes a couple of months to train.
What is the difference between a amateur thief and a professional thief?
The amateur thief says, “Give me all your money! “The professional thief says, “Sign here please.”
What is the difference between a chemist and a plumber?
Ask them to pronounce “unionized”.
Grammar: It’s the difference between knowing your $h!t and knowing you’re $h!t.