[Top 50] Wedding Jokes and Puns Perfect for Speeches

[Top 50] Wedding Jokes and Puns Perfect for Speeches 1

Why does the bride always wear white?
To some, marriage is a word. To others, a sentence.
Two florists got married. It was an arranged marriage.
It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.
Let’s talk about rights and lefts. You’re right so I left
Do you know the punishment for bigamy? Two Mother-in-laws.
Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.
Two pianists had a good marriage. They always were in a chord.
To many girls think the word ‘marriage’ has a nice ring to it.
When the TV repairman got married, the reception was excellent.
Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.
When they bought a water bed, the couple started to drift apart.
I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.
What do you call a melon that’s not allowed to get married? Cantelope.
Marriage is: Finding the one person to ANNOY for the rest of your life!
Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe
Two nuclear technicians got married. She was radiant and he was glowing.
I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months – I don’t like to interrupt her.
What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 pounds.
Because it’s always good for the dishwasher to match the fridge and stove.
When a psychic showed me the girl I’ll marry, it was love at second sight.
Honeymoon: The holiday a man takes before he begins to work for a new boss.
My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So I got two girlfriends.
The wife wants to try the missionary position. She’s on top while I’m in Africa.
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to prove it.
Never do housework. No man ever made love to a woman because the house was spotless.
Marriage is like a bar of soap. It smells delicious until you take a bite out of it!
How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.
An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man? His wife is good at picking out clothes.
Just think, if it weren’t for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
According to the latest surveys, when making love, most married men fantasize that their wives aren’t fantasizing.
A husband said to his wife, ‘No, I don’t hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine.’
A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.
A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the clA$$ifieds: ‘Wife wanted’. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: ‘You can have mine.’
After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, ‘You know, I was a fool when I married you.’ The husband replied, ‘Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice.’
At the c0©ktail party, one woman said to another, ‘Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?’ The other replied, ‘Yes, I am, I married the wrong man.’
A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can have whatever he wants, provided that his mother-in-law gets double. The man thinks for a moment and then says, ‘OK, give me a million dollars and beat me half to death.’