Move a ‘CAUTION – WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.
Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.
Why aren’t there any Walmarts in Afghanistan? Because they are all Targets!
What do you call a dog that steals from Big Box stores? “The Wolf of Walmart”
What does Wal-Mart and Michael Jackson have in common? Boy’s underwear half off!
Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say “PICK ME!” “PICK ME!”
Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they aren’t looking.
When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, “Red Rover!”
Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from “Mission Impossible.”
When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask ‘Why can’t you people just leave me alone?’
While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
How can you afford a middle clA$$ lifestyle on $10/hour (average pay at Walmart)? By shopping at Walmart!
Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, ‘Code 3’ in housewares……and see what happens.
When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.
How dumb is your momma? So dumb, she got lost in a Wal-Mart and went around asking the smilie faces which way was out!
Ask an A$$ociate for entry into the fitting room, shut the door and wait a while and then yell loudly “There is no toilet paper in here!”
While an A$$ociate is trying to tell a customer about a high priced item. Look interested in the same item. and say you can get it cheaper online!
Why did Westley Strellis smash 29 Flat Screen TVs with an Easton baseball bat at a local Walmart in Atlanta, Georgia? They were playing an episode of MTVs “JerseyShore”
Why did Walmart abandon it’s plans to open a bank? CEO Lee Scott found out it’s against the law to lock illegals and cleaning staff in bank vaults after hours without paying overtime.
If the sporting goods section carries guns, tell the clerk you want to check one out. Then look it over by taking a peek through the sight, open the chamber etc. Then, under your breath – say something like “I wish I had some ammo and then, calmly look at him and ask “Do the voices inside my head bother you?”
About Annie Rosy
Annie is a writer who likes to focus on funny pick up lines. She enjoys making people laugh and feel good, and thinks that using a clever line can be the perfect way to start a conversation. When she's not writing, Annie loves spending time with her friends and family. She's always up for trying new things, and is always looking for ways to make life more fun.