You might not be a Bulls fan.. But I know you felt it when this D Rose.
That shirt’s very becoming on you. If I were on you, I’d be coming too.
Can I park my car in your garage? It’s pretty big, but it doesn’t leak.
My guitar teacher says my fingering is good, especially on the G-string
We’re going to dance to one song, then go back to my apartment and f#ck.
It sure is hot and stuffy in here. Would you like to take a cold shower?
If you look that good in clothes, you must look even better out of them.
Looks don’t matter, I’ll just wrap you in a flag and f#ck you for glory.
Let’s go to my place and do the things I’ll tell everyone we did anyway.
I’m the doctor of love baby and you’re over due for your meat injection!
Having S#x is a lot like golf. I’m always happy when I get a hole in one.
Want to taste my D!¢K? (What!?!) I said, “do you want to taste my drink?”
Is your name daisy? Because I have a sudden urge to plant you right here!
Do you go to church often? Because you’re gonna be on your knees tonight.
Can I borrow 70 cents? (No) Then how about 69. I’m sure you can offer 69.
I’ve got the ship, you’ve got the harbor…what say we tie up for the night?
Are you a flight attendant? Because you gonna be plane wth this D!¢K soon.
Do you have a phone in your back pocket? Because your b00ty is calling me.
Excuse me, but I have the mother load and was wondering if you had a place
Free mammograms, get your free mammograms here, get them while they’re hot!
If I had AIDS, would you have S#x with me? (No) Well, I don’t, so let’s go.
Why pay for a bra, when I would gladly hold your BØØBs up all day for free?
I’ve got a hummer and a vibrator. Which one do you want to test drive first?
Let me insert my plug into your socket and we can generate some electricity.
Is your name Osteoporosis? Because you’re giving me a serious bone condition
They call me the cat whisperer, because I know exactly what the pu$$y needs.
We’re out of bleach. Do you want to go in the janitor’s closet and make out?
Let’s not mess with nature. We are here to make babies. So, let’s get to it.
Excuse me, I am about to go masterbait and needed a name to go with the face.
Let’s go to your place and love each other until my D!¢K falls in your pu$$y.
Are you a drill sergeant? Because you have my privates standing at attention.
I’m like Domino’s Pizza. If I don’t come in 30 minutes, the next one is free.
Do you know Phillis Brown? Because in a minute you gonna phil-this brown D!¢K
The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to f#ck you on the floor.
Your face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up.
You should join the circus.(Why?) So you can learn to juggle my balls all day.
The word for tonight is “legs.” Let’s go back to my place and spread the word?
If it’s true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by tomorrow morning.
Excuse me. Do you have chicken in your fridge? (yes) How big are your breasts?
Which is easier? You getting into those tight pants or getting you out of them?
Let me eat you for an hour. If you don’t want to have S#x after that, we won’t.
My D!¢K’s been feeling a little dead lately. Wanna give it some mouth-to-mouth?
Wanna play “kite”? I lay down, you blow and we’ll see how high you can make me.
Do you know your ABC’s? Because I wanna give you the 4th letter of the alphabet.
Hey babe, how about a pizza and a f#ck? (No) What’s wrong, don’t you like pizza?
What’s the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I don’t have a Ferrari.
Roses are black, violets are red, what is it going to take, to get you into bed?
Roses are red, violets are blue, we’re having S#x, because I’m stronger than you
Wanna play midget boxing? You get down on your knees and give me a couple blows!
If you were an elevator, what button would I have to push to get you to go down?
If I washed my D!¢K, would you suck it? (No) Oh, so you like to suck dirty D!¢Ks.
What’s the speed limit of S#x? (what?) 68. Because at 69 YOU have to turn around!
If I was a robot and you were one too, If I lost a bolt would you give me a screw?
I’m not an expert in hardware, but I know that you’d be able to screw my nuts off.
There are so many things you can do with the human mouth… why waste it on talking?
Girl, you should sell hotdogs, because you already know how to make a weiner stand.
We’re like hot chocolate and marshmallows… You’re hot and I wanna be on top of you.
Do you have a mirror in your pocket? (Why?) Because I can see myself in your pants.
You remind me of a championship bA$$, I don’t know whether to mount you or eat you.
So, what are the chances that we can engage in anything more than just conversation?
My recipe for love is one cup of you, one cup of me, knead till hard, and serve hot.
You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
Damn girl I’d love to kiss those beautiful, luscious lips. And the ones on your face.
Guy pulls out a quarter”if i flip this coin what are the chances of me getting head?”
Your place or mine? Tell you what? I’ll flip a coin. Head at my place, tail at yours.
Do you have any Irish in you? (if no.) Would you like some? (if yes.) Want some more?
I’ve just received government funding for a four-hour expedition to find your G-spot.
That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor tomorrow morning.
Do you have a composition notebook? Because you can come position yourself on my face.
You remind me of my cousin. (How?) I want to f#ck you so bad, but I know that I can’t.
So, you’re not into casual S#x? Fine, I’ll put on a tux and we can call it formal S#x.
He: Hi, what’s the color of your hair? She: (tells him) He: And the hair on your head?
I’m with the TSA and I need to perform a full body cavity search, for security reasons.
Lets play circus, first sit on my face i’ll guess ur weight and i’ll eat the difference
Want to play lion tamer? You could get on all fours and I’ll put my head in your mouth.
Lets skip all the bull-$h!t lose our inhibitions and DO what we really came here to do.
Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under
Do you have a boyfriend? (Yes) Do you mess around? (No) Would you hold still while I do?
So, come back to my place, and if you don’t like it I swear I’ll give you a full refund.
Roses or daises? Now I know what flowers to put on your casket when I murder that pu$$y.
Oh, you’re a bird watcher. (Pull out your dong) Well, would you take this for a swallow?
If I told you I had a 2 inch D!¢K would you f#ck me? (No) Good, because mine is 8 inches.
You have pretty eyeballs. Of course they’d be better if they were eyeing my pretty balls.
The last woman I was with said, “Kiss me where it stinks.” So, I drove her to New Jersey.
What’ll you say we make like Winnie-the-poo and I can get my nose stuck in your honey jar.
Excuse me. I seem to have misplaced my willy-warmer. Do you mind if I try you on for size?
You know why they call me the cat whisperer? Because I know exactly what that pu$$y needs.
You remind me of the movie “Scarface” because I want you to say hello to my little friend.
Are you cold? Would you like a jacket? Because you can jack it when we get back to my place
Girl are you a witch? Because you know how to make something stand without even touching it
Are you a Jehovah’s Witness? Because I’m about to bend Jehovah and let you witness this D!¢K.
Have you ever heard of the naked pretzel? Ok, sit on my magical lap and we’ll see what rises.
Come in the house and take off ur coat, open ur mouth and let me coat the back of that throat!
First, I’d like to kiss you pA$$ionately on the lips, then, I’ll move up to your belly button.
Why don’t you come over here, sit on my lap and we’ll talk about the first thing that pops up?
Is you father a lumberjack (No, why?) Because when ever I look at you, I get wood in my pants.
Let’s play breathalyzer! You blow me as hard as you can, and I will tell you how drunk you are!
You look so innocent, you look so sweet, as long as I have a face, you will always have a seat.
Wanna play Tic-Tac-Toe?, I’ll shove a tic tac up your pu$$y and try to give you 3 O’s in a row.
My magical watch says you’re not wearing any panties…oh, you are? Damn, it must be an hour fast…
You’re like my little toe, because I’m going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my home.
Your A$$ Looks Nice, does it need servicing because I got a wrench and some screws just for you.
Your legs are like an Oreo Cookie – I wanna split them and eat all the good stuff in the middle.
I’m scared of getting pregnant, so do you want to go up to my room & test out all of my condoms?
Person #1: hey, you wanna do a 68? Person #2: What? Person #1: You go down, and I’ll owe you one.
Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears? (Pull your pockets inside out) Would you like to?
If your left leg was Christmas and your right was Thanksgiving, could I visit between the holidays?
What if I start this relationship with you as a frien. Will you allow me to give you the ‘D’ later?
Do you know what part of the tongue registers the “salty taste? Why don’t you blow me and find out?
Well spread my cheeks and call me “cell B!t¢h;” you’re prettier than anyone I ever met in the joint!
The club ends at 2, I gotta go to work at 8 lets go back to your place so you can get that pu$$y ate
I’m trying to determine after years of therapy and lots of testing, whether or not I’m allergic to S#x.
Some men go around telling women they have an eight inch peπ!s; I’d never shortchange myself like that!
You are so selfish! You’re going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.
There are plenty of fish in the sea, but you’re the only one I’d like to catch and mount back at my place.
You Say: I’m jealous of your dress. She says “Why?” You say: Because it’s touching your body, and I’m not.
Is it your birthday?, because icing isn’t the only thing I’ll be smearing all over face your face tonight.
Has any one ever told you your A$$ looks like a phone because I want to hit the pound button all day long.
Let’s go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.
Do you know the difference between my peπ!s and a chicken wing? No? Well, let’s go on a picnic and find out!
Do you like apples? (Yes/No) How about I take you home and f#ck the sh*t out of you. How do like them apples?
Is your dad a carnie (carnival worker) Because I want you sit to on my face while I try to guess your weight.
Do you know the essential difference between S#x and conversation? (No.) Do you want to go upstairs and talk?
You are so beautiful that I want to be reincarnated as your child so that I can breastfeed by you until I’m 5.
You don’t want to have S#x on your period? I don’t mind a little ketchup on the hot dog as long as the bun is tight.
Since we’ve been told to reduce waste these days, what you say we use these condoms in my pocket before they expire.
If your right leg was Christmas and your left leg was Easter, would you let me come for dinner between the holidays?
Are you cold? Let me be your electric blanket. Just plug me in and I’ll make you feel nice and toasty inside and out.
Write the following on a napkin and give it to a cute girl: “Smile if you want to have S#x with me.” Watch her smile!
I’m not trying to pressure you. I don’t want to have S#x without mutual consent; oh and by the way, you have my consent.
Walk up to a female and look at her crotch then look at her face back to crotch to face and say “Are you gonna eat that?”
Try me once and if you don’t like it, what have you wasted? What, six hours of your life? It’d be more if you want foreplay.
Excuse me, My name is Ben Dover (bend over). Would you like to meet my friend Master Bates (masterbaits)? Or should I do it for you?
Male: Hey, I don’t feel to good. Female: Why? Male: I feel like I have an elephant in my stomach. Female: What? Male: (looking down) I think his truck is already sticking out.
Give me elbow. (after they give you elbow, leave your hand up) Give me shoulder. (after they give you shoulder, leave your hand up) Give me nose. (after they give you nose, leave your hand up) Give me head.
Look out in the night sky. You see that bright light to the right of that red one? That is a comet that is streaking toward here at 34546 miles per hour. At that rate, it will be here in about an hour. So, wanna f#ck?
About Annie Rosy
Annie is a writer who likes to focus on funny pick up lines. She enjoys making people laugh and feel good, and thinks that using a clever line can be the perfect way to start a conversation. When she's not writing, Annie loves spending time with her friends and family. She's always up for trying new things, and is always looking for ways to make life more fun.
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