[Top 50] Medieval,Historical Pick Up Lines That Are Gold Like!

by Maria Line

You scratch my boils and I’ll scratch yours.
Milady you can ride my horse. I must tell you, he’s a wild one!
Wizard: You know, my hat isn’t the on ly thing that’s pointed.
My Lady, dost thou possess a looking glA$$ in thine bodice? For I may surely see myself within their folds.
Your hovel or mine?
It’s not the size of the staff that matters, but the magic within.
[Top 50] Medieval,Historical Pick Up Lines That Are Gold Like!
[Top 50] Medieval,Historical Pick Up Lines That Are Gold Like!
How about going out with a guy who doesn’t have the plague for a change?
What a fine set of chalices you have.
Milady, I heard that you were a chirogeon, I have something you can drain.
Yes, I am indeed a wizard. Watch me make your clothes disappear!
Looks like my dragon has finally found a nice cave to rest in.
[Top 50] Medieval,Historical Pick Up Lines That Are Gold Like! 2
[Top 50] Medieval,Historical Pick Up Lines That Are Gold Like! 2
Ssh, I don’t want everyone to know I’m on a secret holy quest.
You know… I got my armor in Extra-Large just so I could fit the both of us in here. What do you say?
Your eyes are as dark as a castle moat by midnight. Lower your drawbridge and let me cross.
Princess! My armor is not the only thing that is hard.
The word of the day is legs. Lets go back to my place and spread the word.
Don’t worry. If you kiss me, I won’t turn into a frog.
Hey, milady,if you think that horse is gifted.
You can scale my battlements any day, madam.
Wench: What’s that sound? Knight: That’s just the sound of my chain mail drawers expanding.
I’ve been VERY NAUGHTY. You’ll have to put me in the stocks and “PUNISH” me, now won’t you?
Don’t believe the rumours you’ve heard… the Bubonic plague didn’t affect my important organs.
I have the key to your chasS#xy belt and you have the key to my heart.
What’s a nice maiden like you doing in a dungeon like this?
It seems as if my dragon has finally found a nice cave to rest in.
Let thy gaze upon your flappy cuπt ya lowly wench.
When the Inquisition put me on the rack, my limbs weren’t the only thing they stretched.
What a fine set of chalices you have.
Oh, my sweet Knight! For a moment I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Now I see that I am very much alive, and heaven has been brought to me.
You won’t believe this but St. George just appeared to me in a vision and told me that I must bed you…the fate of England depends is on it!
[Top 50] Medieval,Historical Pick Up Lines That Are Gold Like! 3
[Top 50] Medieval,Historical Pick Up Lines That Are Gold Like! 3
Like a mare, I can be ridden for hours.
Come up to my chamber and I’ll show you the largest treasure in the land.
Sucketh thou upon my meat rod, thou strumpet!
I’m going to unlock ye olde chasS#xy belt!
It’s not the size of the staff that matters, but the magic within.
You wouldn’t happen to know where a lonely knight could sheath his sword, would you?
Fair Maiden, you can scale my battlements any day!
I had to swim the moat to get to you fair maiden. So, would you like to see my breaststroke?
Milady, it’s not the size of the wand that matters, but the magic within.
Oh yea baby- black plague, leprosy, or scarlet fever- honey, I’ve got the cure for you.
I most certainly am King in bed! Shall I prove it to you?
My that’s a fine set of chalices you have there.
What an excellent set of chalices you have.
Pestilence makes the heart go wander.
I may not be a priest, but I can take you to the heavens, princess.
My goat bite is no longer infected, so would you like to dance?
Like Marcellus Wallace, I wanna get Medieval or your A$$!
That’s a nice chasS#xy belt you’re wearing. My blacksmith friends and I can help you out of it.
How’d you like to ride my stallion? He’s well trained for battle!
Hey, Princess, you wouldn’t happen to know where a lonely knight could scabbard his sword, would you?
When the Divine Being made you, there was nothing that he left undone.
Darling, these Trojans are rather painful. We may need some oil for this armor.
My! But you are a beautiful damsel in distress! Allow me to help you out of it.
I am beset by this dragon in my loins, and only you can quench its fire!
I’m going to spank ye with me tallywacker! You hear?
Hey there cute mermaid, is the water cold or are you just happy to see me?
What’s a princess like you doing in a dungeon like this?
The inquisitor: So, witch…up to you. Either you burn at the stake…or I use my stake to make you burn.
If I were a horse, I’d rather you mounted me without the saddle.
I’m from Nurenberg, but I’m a master at more than singing.
My lady! Would you care to spend a night with a knight?
What a fine gown you’re wearing, my lady. Perchance may I talk you out of it?
How about coming around the back and giving me a good reason to come back from the crusades?
Can I hose down your doublet?
Sword fighting is like _everything_ else : it’s all in your thrust.
Might my sword be placed in my lady’s sheath?
I’m really a prince cursed by an evil witch. Tell me, do you have S#x with frogs?
If I were a horse, I’d rather you mounted me without the saddle.
I might have lost most of my limbs in battle but I’ve still got one left.
I seem to have lost my S#x slave, can I borrow you for a bit?
Would you care to see my longsword in action?
Fair maiden, I would love to wash your undercarriage.
They don’t call me Lance-A-Lot for nothing, you know.
Paint on your shield “Smile if you want to sleep with me” and watch the wenches try to keep straight faces.
They say a knight is always as hard as his armor.
Dost thou know? That chasS#xy belt of yours would look great on my sleeping chambers floor.
A day just wouldn’t be complete without a Knight.
I’d rather be beheaded than be denied a date with you.
Fair Maiden, your cups runneth over.
Your chasS#xy belt would look great on the floor of my sleeping chamber.
How, you ask, did I get up here to your balcony? Well, I espied you from yonder garden. In an instant my er, heart was swelled with lus.. er, love. I had to meet you! So I ranneth over but tripped on a stone thusly pole-vaulting into your arms.
You is know that chasS#xy belt of yours would look great on my sleeping chambers floor.
You wanna go upstairs and see my Holy Grail?
Your chasS#xy belt would look great on the floor of my sleeping chamber.
I am beset by this dragon in my loins, Dear Lady, and only you can quench its fire!
When I was put on the rack in the inquisition, my limbs weren’t the only things that got stretched.
Come on my lady, let’s smash your portcullis.
I bet you would look nice in some maternity armor.
You look like a maiden in distress, why don’t I save you?
The first time I saw thee, I felt as if my stomach had been raided by beautiful fire breathing dragons. Uh..in a nice way of course.
Is that a knife in your armor? Or are you just happy to see me?
Would you care to see my longsword in action?
If quietus you make, I’ll bare my bodkin for you.
“You want to have children?” “Well, I was hoping you could help me with that.”
My lady! I would like to see you ride my horse.
Your beauty has scorched a hole into my heart as fast as a dragon in the mote.
May I show you a fascinating Saracaen ritual I learned while hiding in a harem after Hattin?
Like a mare, I can be ridden for hours.
Deflower me so hard until I’m a stem.
I hath done combat with many a beast, but I must confess that was the tightest situation I have ever been in.
Why, I once speared 10 of them with a single thrust.
You should be glad I’m not a Viking. You would have been ravaged and plundered by now.
Hey, baby, wanna chain my mail?
You can place your greeves under my pallet anytime.
Pardon me, madam, but wouldeth thou like to see my long sword in action?
Come up and see my scrolls.
I most certainly am King in bed! Shall I prove it to you?
Hey baby, King Arthur isn’t the only one with a big round thing. How ’bout coming up and waxing mine?
Hey wench the rodent in my pocket wants to eat at your cheeze.
Milady, I’ll be your night in shining armor.
Ello, milady, thou art under siege. I shall scale thy battlements with mine grappling hook.
I like the cut of your jib.
You hit on me harder than the black plague!
I’m storming your castle with my steed my-lady.
Yes, I am indeed a wizard. Watch me make your clothes disappear!
I’d rather be beheaded than be denied a date with you.
Excuse me, Milady, would you have a place where I may sheath my longsword?
You wouldn’t happen to know where a lonely knight could sheath his sword, would you?
Has anyone ever told you that you have a lovely wimple?
Would thoust be interested in viewing mine buttshaft?
I may not be a priest, but I can take you to the heavens, princess.
What say ye we have our own Norman conquest, lA$$?
My lady! You should be glad I’m not a Viking.
Hey, big boy, how would you like to help this maiden out of dis-dress?
Fair Maiden, you can scale my battlements any day!
Is that a knife in your armor? Or are you just happy to see me?
No, I’m actually a wizard. Want to see my crystal balls?
It seems as if my dragon has finally found a nice cave to rest in.
Mlle. Darc, thy breastplate is wondrous! Wouldst thou hold my polearm whilst I attempt to light thy fire?
Why don’t we go back to my place and re-enact “The Miller’s Tale?”
Where am I from, milady? Nantucket of course!! Shall I prove it to you?
So…been to any good hangings lately?
What a fine gown you’re wearing, my lady. Perchance may I talk you out of it?
When I was put on the rack in the inquisition, my limbs weren’t the only things that got stretched.
What’s a princess like you doing in a dungeon like this?
Wanna polish my pike?
And you thought the Romans had the only impressive aqueducts.
Might I see a little ankle, you sluS#xh?
When I was put on the rack in the inquisition, my limbs weren’t the only things that got stretched.
Milady, it’s not the size of the wand that matters, but the magic within.
I may not be a priest, but I can get you to heaven, m’lady.
Say, Princess, I’m very good at poking people with long pointy objects.
Why storm the castle when we can make our own?
Aye fair maiden, would you liketh some Fu©k?
My lady would love thy like to take a gander at my c0©k.
If the stars in the sky were as beautiful as the eyes on thee, then they’d be really pretty.
They say a knight is always as hard as his armor.
A world without day is gloomy indeed, but a world without Knight would be pure misery.
Do you practice safe hex?
I lost my leg in battle. Guess what I’m walking on!
Don’t believe the rumors you heard about me. The Bubonic plague didn’t affect my important parts.
You look like a maiden in distress, why don’t I save you?
Been there, slain that.
Wouldst thou care to partake in a reenactment of the sword and the stone?
Thou hast hit on me harder than the black plague!
You would have been ravaged and plundered by now.
Lay down fair maiden so I may kiss thine whispering eye.
I joust love you, baby!
You know, I was once imprisoned in a tower very much like Repunnzel. Only it wasn’t my hair that the queen asked me to let down.
Hey girl, can I put my jousting sword in your shield?
C’mon, sweetie…Didn’t your mother ever tell you? A cleric a day keeps the black plague away.
Your breasts are like clusters of grapes.
I am beset by this dragon in my loins, and only you can quench its fire!
Honest, milady, it will help clear up the pox marks.
I would wish a manly broadsword, not a pen-knife such as yours.

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