I’d watch Glee for you.
I want you Anderneath me.
I want to Lestraddle you.
Can I touch your Belstaff?
Wanna see my secret tattoo?
You’re the West to my Wood.
I.O.U. a fall… into my bed.
My love for you is #NotDead.
I would let you call me Myc.
I only have earbuds for you.
I think you’re 221-beautiful.
Lestrade? More like Lust-rade.
Wanna go on a S#x holiday with me?
You put the ‘bae’ in Baker Street.
I would never tell you to f-cough.
John Watson? More like John Hot-son.
Will you be the Robin to my Hat-Man?
I’m a fan of yours— type B, that is.
Whip me like one of your dead girls.
The game is on… Will you play with me?
Do you want to see some More-iarty of me?
You smell cleaner than Kenny Prince’s cat.
Makeover queen? No, I’m the makeout queen.
Wanna know why my Belstaff coat is so long?
Don’t hate the dragon slayer. Hate the game.
I’m like Anderson’s beard… I’ll grow on you.
Why don’t you go ‘right the way down’ on me?
I would share my ‘herbal soothers’ with you.
I would kick my parents out if you came over.
You’re hotter than The Dynamics of Combustion.
I’ll walk your dog… Even if you don’t have one.
My last name may be Small, but my D!¢K is huge.
I’ll be your goldfish if you’ll be my division.
May the problems of your future be my privilege?
Let’s adopt cats together… Hounds drive me crazy.
I love you more than Carl Powers loved his shoes.
I think you’re cooler than the head in our fridge.
If you’re Henry Knight, can I be your Henry Steed?
Are you frequenting cafes? Because you are smoking.
My mustache isn’t the only thing I’d shave for you.
People are basically fond, but not as much as I am.
Redbeard isn’t the only one I’d like to be petting.
Forget mind palaces… Wanna see my mind S#x dungeon?
My love for you is bigger than Henry Knight’s house.
My love for you burns like the A.G.R.A. flash drive.
You always feel love, but you don’t have to fear it.
My anaconda don’t want none unless you got guns, hun.
I would love you even if you messed up my sock index.
You give me life, and not just because Lazarus is go.
Chicks dig scars, eh? Well, just call me Major Sholto.
You’re so great, even my shirt is giving you thumbs up.
If you be my goldfish, I promise to keep you plenty wet.
If you left me, I’d do anything to get you Reichen-back.
I’d help you hunt down a hound even if I was on holiday.
My text alert isn’t the only way you can hear me 0rg@sm.
Without you, my heart is as broken as Mrs. Hudson’s hip.
Why have a meat dagger when you can have my D.I. Swagger?
Are you a train car in Sumatra? Because you are the bomb.
I would solve a skip code and steal a motorcycle for you.
Your smile shines brighter than an inexplicable matchbox.
Solving crimes isn’t the only thing I have a vacancy for.
I fell for you harder than Rupert Graves in the gag reel.
I’d rather look at you than Sherlock’s crime scene photos.
You make me more out of breath than Mycroft on a treadmill.
I would love you even if you canonically did not exist yet.
I would murder a blackmailing newspaper proprietor for you.
You make me come to life like the Geek Interpreter’s comics.
I heard you want the D… and I’m not talking about deductions.
You don’t have to say ‘Vatican Cameos’ to get me to go down.”
You make me wetter than a fireplace that’s just met Magnussen.
Wanna go have a drink on every street where we found a corpse?
You should come home with me instead. Your wife is AGRA-vating.
I want you wrapped around me more tightly than my purple shirt.
Being without you hurts worse than reading Alone On the Water.”
Are you Mr. Summerson? Because I’d like to fondle your testicles.
If you were my drug, I wouldn’t need a case to justify doing you.
I’d let you stay in my bedroom even if you didn’t need the space.
Dieting is for Mycroft. Come on, you know you want a taste of me.
I would love you even if you made post-mortem jokes about my hip.
You’re the boomerang to my hiker… Throwing you away would kill me.
I would spend the night at your place even if it was a scuzz dump.
I wish I was Irene’s phone just so I could get into your cleavage.
Stabbing isn’t the only thing I’d like to do to you in the shower.
Are you Helen Louise? Because I’m going to make you lose your mind.
theimprobableone will use capital letters before I stop loving you.
Mrs. Hudson may have stolen my skull, but you have stolen my heart.
You make me more speechless than John asking me to be his best man.
If you got away from me, I’d be so upset, I’d start kicking a tire.
Are you one of John’s jumpers? Because you look so cozy and unique.
Let’s have a relationship that’s in a good place and very affirming.
You could make me feel alive even if I were one of Molly’s cadavers.
I bet you can make me scream… and I don’t mean like Claudette Bruhl.
Is there a ball under my armpit, or did you just make my heart stop?
When I asked if you came for me, I didn’t just mean to the drug den.
My anaconda don’t want none unless you got glow-in-the-dark buns, hun.
Are you Greg Lestrade? Because you look like a DI… A Dishy Individual.
I’d let a strange woman abduct me as long as she was taking me to you.
Forget the crime scene… The only body I want to be checking out is yours.
The thought of being without you scares me more than a Baskerville Hound.
My friendship isn’t the only thing that can give you warmth and constancy.
I would punch the chief superintendent just because he called you a weirdo.
When I said I’d get you off, I wasn’t just talking about the murder charge.
If you think Sherlock’s a freak, just wait until you see me in the bedroom.
Is your meat dagger on Twitter? Because I’d like to get that on text alert.
I know Richard Brook was a lie, but I’d like to see you in handcuffs anyway.
I always hear ‘suck my face’ when you’re speaking, but it’s usually subtext.
My love for you isn’t like Lord Moran’s bomb— it doesn’t have an off switch.
A headphones-wearing bison isn’t the only thing I’d like up against my wall.
I see you frequent Speedy’s Cafe… You must like some Sherlock inside of you.
I’m not your housekeeper. The only thing of yours I want to keep is your love.
I would propose to you even if I didn’t need to break into your boss’s office.
I guess people can stop calling me The Ice Man, because you’ve melted my heart.
Being without you is worse than going to a matinee of Les Mis with my parents.”
I don’t need Anderson’s Reichenbach theory to show you how hypnotizing I can be.
I’ve fallen for you more times than that American has fallen out of your window.
I want to have more meetings with you than Magnussen had with the prime minister.
Hey girl, I deleted the solar system to make room for important things… like you.
Would you still love me even though you’re made of hair and I’m made of eyeliner?
If you think the wait in between seasons is long, just wait until you see my D!¢K.
I heard you like a man in uniform, so I keep mine on even when it tries to kill me.
You don’t need Connie Prince. You’re already the most beautiful thing in the world.
Without you, my heart is like the coin that Mary shot… There’s an empty hole in it.
You make me blush so much, my face is the same color as Jennifer Wilson’s wardrobe.
I calculate that there are thirteen possibilities once I invite you into my bedroom.
I’d love to get mail from you, even if it was just an envelope full of bread crumbs.
I don’t mind if you’re on your period… We’ll just call it an Urban Bloodlust Frenzy.
We think you’re smoking, and that’s not just because we pulled you out of a bonfire.
I would disguise myself as a French waiter to stop you from proposing to someone else.
I’m going to write you a love letter… I don’t have to prove it; I just have to print it.
Why don’t you play Operation with me instead? You’ll never have to handle a broken heart.
It’s a bit rude that noise, isn’t it? Not that that’ll stop me from coaxing it out of you.
When you called me ‘nurse,’ were you really just making do, or were you trying to roleplay?
Are you a fire extinguisher? Because I want to dance and break into the crown jewels with you.
I know you’re not some character from Lord of the Rings, because I honestly care what you think.
I would turn back your watch during your friend’s fake suicide just to spend more time with you.
If I was looking for a friend in a drug den, I wouldn’t just be browsing— I’d be looking for you.
If I had only a minute and twenty-nine seconds left to live, I’d want to spend that time with you.
I think about Redbeard when I want to calm down, but I think about you when I want to get excited.
You can imagine the Christmas dinners, but I’d much rather you be there to experience them yourself.
Why bother telling me what I should put on a t-shirt? It’s just going to end up on your floor in a moment anyway.
I’m not very good at expressing my feelings, so please understand what I mean when I say that my name is actually a girl’s name.