I’ll do your process.
Can I, like, annex you?
Baby, you’re a firework.
I know Benjamin Franklin.
When we touch, it’s electric
It’s big, like my signature.
Let’s do it in Philadelphia.
The verdict is in; you are hot
Whooo! Party like it’s 1933!!!!
Sir William Howe… are you doing?
Wanna meet the foreman of my jury?
You read, white, and blew my mind.
You put my heart in double jeopardy
They call my bedroom the 14th colony.
Give me your panties or give me death.
You be Yankee Doodle, I’ll be the pony.
I will go full-term in your oval office
I’d start a revolution for your number.
Let’ put the screw back in screwdriver.
Thomas Jefferson would have wanted this.
Baby I’ll make you see stars and stripes
Oh say can you see… me in your bed tonight
You have the right to bear me in your arms.
You can pay the poll tax personally with me.
How about that George Grenville? What a BØØB!
How would you win over the heart of a patriot?
Tell me, does the carpet match the powdered wig?
Baby I can last for waaaayyyy more than 2 terms.
This would be really awkward if you were British.
The grand jury in my pants is waiting to try you.
Pretend you are the consS#xution and call me daddy
We’ll have a balance on powers. You can be on top.
I’ll be your slave, it’s okay, it’s not involuntary.
I have a great relationship with my mother… country.
I believe all lady parts deserve equal representation
You can be my mate but we won’t be doing any running.
The government is okay with 18 year olds and so am I!
Hey the alcohol’s back! Now let’s get drunk and screw.
On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight?
I’m a man without a country. Can I be a citizen of you?
I’d try to give you a fair trial but you have no peers.
They can prohibit my alcohol, you intoxicate me enough.
Excuse me but I’m looking for weapons of A$$ destruction.
My flag will never fly at half mast as long you’re around.
Let’s be like the original thirteen colonies AND MULTIPLY.
I’m glad there’s freedom of religion because I worship you.
I’ve been directly elected to fill the vacancy in your senate!
You have the right to protest but I don’t think you’ll want to.
18 year olds can exercise their rights in government and on me!
“The pursuit of happiness” means it’s cool to hit on you, right?
Now you don’t need a peπ!s to vote…but you can still borrow mine.
You must have been born in Pearl Harbor, because baby you da bomb
I’ll have you exercising your right to free speech all night long
The inauguration of the new president may come quickly but I won’t!
You don’t have to wait for succession, you’re first in line for me.
You forgot to pay your income tax so I’m coming to seize your A$$ets.
If you declare me sovereign of your pants I promise I can do no wrong.
You’re by far the prettiest girl here. The ‘Liberty bell’ of the ball.
You don’t need a permit to search my pants and seize whatever you find.
If you’re incapacitated can I have a list of you next 3 hottest friends?
Let’s say we go back to my place. You put on a wig, I’ll call you ‘Tory.’
I hope we stay together forever. Let’s knock on wood. Here, use my teeth!
You look great in those knee-high socks, they highlight your weird calves.
I’ll put my John Hanc0©k on your bar tab if you hang out with me for a while.
Hey baby, are you ready for your trial? I’m afraid it has to be a speedy one.
You don’t need to wait until the next session, you can give me a raise any time.
The powers of the federal government aren’t the only things that need separated.
Let’s drink beer and play with fireworks until somebody has a terrible accident!
Let me press myself against you, you can’t stop me…it’s my consS#xutional right.
Tonight I will be exercising my freedom of A$$embly…outside your bedroom window.
I’m arresting you for breaking the 8th amendment because you…are excessively fine!
Baby, you remind me of the consS#xution, because you look like a national treasure
I don’t normally like girls who wear red coats. But, for you I’ll make an exception.
The 15th Amendment gives the right to vote to anyone with a peπ!s…I’ll loan you mine.
We are endowed by our creator with rights like life, liberty, and the pursuit of 0rg@sm
If you ask me if I love you I’ll have to plead the 5th. Don’t want to incriminate myself.
When we get back to my place I’m going to do everything to you that your government can’t.
There’s too much power in my pants that needs to be balanced. Will you help me release it?
Are you a British Loyalist? Because you’re making me rethink this whole “independence” thing.
The ConsS#xution limits the powers of the government but the powers of my pants are unlimited!
Is that a banana in your pocket, or you just… carrying a musket because of the Quartering Act.
Because of my rights related to eminent domain, you have to compensate me for stealing my heart.
Girl, you’re so beautiful. I’d cross the Delaware River to be with you. Or even the Raritan River.
Wanna get naked and watch 1776 (that musical about the signing of The Declaration of Independence)?
No taxation without representation! But, there is a kiss tax. Strictly enforced and right on the lips.
The government gives you the right to bare your arms but I give you the right to bare everything else.
Wanna role play? I’ll be John Adams and you can be Abigail. They wrote very steamy love letters, you know.
We have a lot of chemistry. Right now, we’re both working on a little something I like to call ‘electricity.’
Don’t tell me you’re one of those 4th of July apologists. Just kidding, I don’t think that’s a thing. Thirsty?
Oooooh say can you seeeeeeee / by the dawn’s early light / me in your bed / with last night’s sweat still gleaminnng.
I have a district that has been underrepresented in Congress with you, but the 23rd Amendment now says I need to be let in.
You have a boyfriend? Have you ever given any thought to seceding from him? I get not wanting to cheat. I’m also a loyalist.
I had baked beans last night, it was not a pretty scene in my bathroom. Talk about the Boston mA$$acre! Anyway, want to make out?
I’m like fireworks: smokin’, fun, and illegal in many states. Also, there are some really creepy billboards about me on the interstate.
I wish I were the Speaker of the House and you the President Pro Temp of the Senate so I could be above you in the “order of succession.”
You’re so hot it makes me nervous. The hair on my arms are standing up, but not the hair on my head. Hey, have you ever made out with a powdered wig?
My last girlfriend and I had to call it off. I looked her right in the face and declared myself independent. Also, she was British. Want to make out?
The Continental Congress decreed ‘all men are created equal.’ But, they didn’t say anything about ‘all women being created equal.’ Because girl, you are too fine!
The only thing better than this party is the Revolutionary Party! Am I right? Also, the Tea Party was pretty cool if I’m being honest. And, I want to be honest with you.
If you can tell me the difference between Flag Day and the 4th of July, I will buy you a drink. If you can’t tell me the difference between Flag Day and the 4th of July, I will also buy you a drink.
I’m not a fan of Parliament. Unless, it’s the band Parliament Funkadelic. Which doesn’t mean anything to you right now, but you’ll see what I’m talking about in a few hundred years. I’m from the future!
I actually wrote ‘the British are coming.’ Well, I didn’t write it per say, but I did say it once to one of my friends. And, it was pretty loud, so there’s a good chance Revere heard it. So, I pretty much wrote it. Anyway, want to make out?