I am no man.
Gimli a piece of that!
I’ll put a ring on it!
My elf eyes only see you.
My blade is never broken.
I can lighten your burden
I last longer than Boromir.
This is no trinket I carry.
I want you in my hobbit hole.
Will you be my precciiiiioouuuusss?
I’ll have you for second-breakfast.
I’ll take you there and back again.
That aromatic scent is my manflesh.
I wanna go inside your hobbit hole.
You wake something Tookish up in me.
I’ll take your Hobbit to my Isengard.
I erupt like Mount Doom for you, baby!
TREE?! I am no tree. I am your future.
What do you like for second breakfast?
I’d love to climb your Lonely Mountain.
Hey baby, wanna blow my Horn of Gondor?
My staff is even bigger than Gandalf’s.
You know what they say about big feet..
Your salted pork is particularly lovely
I love you more than Sauron loves power.
Girl, you’re like a Balrog – smokin’ hot!
Baby, I’ll make you scream like the Nazgul.
Say girl, looks like meats back on the menu.
I gave her my sword. And my bow. And my axe.
I may look really short, but that’s only CGI.
I’d like to have an Inn at your prancing pony.
Are you the Ring? ‘Cause I’ve got my eye on you.
I may be a fool. But I’m a fool in love with you.
YOU SHALL NOT PA$$, until you give me your number.
Did it hurt when you fell from the Timeless Halls?
So you’re over 1,000 years old? I LOVE older women.
Are you an orc? Because you’re making my Sting glow.
Dammit, Elrond got caught looking up Orc P0®n again.
Were you forged by Sauron? Because you look precious.
Your beauty has pierced my heart like a Morgul Blade.
I’ve got a feeling you’re about to become my Precious.
Are you Gandalf? Because you have me seeing fireworks.
You must be a Ring of Power, ‘cuase I want ot keep you!
The fires of Mount Doom aren’t nearly as hot as you are.
My love is like Lembas bread, one taste to get your fill.
Were you born from Smaug’s mouth? Because you came out hot.
Watch out, girl. I’m about to rescue you from Lonely Mountain.
I’m like Beorn — half man, half bear. Guess which part is bear?
Sauron’s gonna be after me because he knows I’ve found the one.
No, thats not an oliphaunt in my pants, but thanks for noticing.
Want to come back to my place and smoke a little Longbottom leaf?
A wizard is never premature. He finishes precisely when he means to.
Every teenage hobbit girl has been to Fu©kleberry Ferry a few times.
What do you say we go back to my place an light the beacons of Gondor?
Just wait until sunset — that’s when I’m going to open your secret door.
Elen sila lumenn’ omentielvo. (“A star shines on the hour of our meeting”)
Girl, you’re glowing. Are there orcs nearby or are you just glad to see me?
Boy, you’re glowing. Are there Orcs nearby or are you just happy to see me?
Love is never late, nor is it early. It arrives precisely when it means to.
My feet are bigger than Bilbo’s… and you know what they say about big feet.
Us Hobbits can bring you ‘there and back again’ over and over and over again.
I don’t know you half as well as I should like, but I like all of what I see.
Is your name Smaug? Because you look like you have loads of treasure in your cave.
I would rather share one lifetime with you than face al lthe ages of this world alone.
Excuse me, but are you Arwen? You are so beautiful that I think I have entered a dream.
You don’t know even it yet, but you’ve just found the One. Now let me get in your pocket.
Beard can be red; A blade can glow blue; There is only one precious, and that must be you.
There are no words in Elvish, Entish, or the tongues of men to express how much I love you.
I must be the ring and you must be Bilbo, because you’ve got me wrapped around your finger.
It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations — so here’s what I’m doing later.