[Top 55] Hilarious Comebacks to Insults That Will Shut Everyone Up!
by Annie Rosy
I’ve been called worse by better.
You’re so fat you could sell shade.
You’ll never be the man your mother is.
If I wanted a B!t¢h, I’d have bought a dog.
Stupidity’s not a crime, so you’re free to go.
If I had a face like yours I’d sue my parents.
You are proof that evolution can go in reverse.
I may love to shop but I’m not buying your bull.
Someday you’ll go far… and I hope you stay there.
I’m sorry I didn’t get that – I don’t speak idiot.
Were you born this stupid or did you take lessons?
Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
Gay? I’m straighter than the pole your mom dances on.
I’d give you a nasty look but you’ve already got one.
Hey, your village called – they want their idiot back.
Save your breath – you’ll need it to blow up your date.
Brains aren’t everything. In your case they’re nothing.
You’re not stupid; you just have bad luck when thinking.
Please, keep talking. I always yawn when I am interested.
Hey, you have something on your chin… no, the 3rd one down.
I don’t know what makes you so stupid, but it really works.
Your lips keep moving but all I hear is “Blah, blah, blah.”
Jesus loves you… but everyone else thinks you’re an A$$hole.
No, those pants don’t make you look fatter – how could they?
I’ve seen people like you before, but I had to pay admission.
Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all stupid people.
I was hoping for a battle of wits but you appear to be unarmed.
I thought of you today. It reminded me to take the garbage out.
The zoo called. They’re wondering how you got out of your cage?
Quick – check your face! I just found your nose in my business.
I’d slap you but I don’t want to make your face look any better.
Just because you have one doesn’t mean you need to act like one.
If you’re going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty.
Don’t you get tired of putting make up on two faces every morning?
Your family tree must be a cactus because everyone on it is a prick.
If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.
Which S#xual position produces the ugliest children? Ask your mother.
If you really want to know about mistakes, you should ask your parents.
You’re so ugly when you look in the mirror, your reflection looks away.
Aww, it’s so cute when you try to talk about things you don’t understand.
Why is it acceptable for you to be an idiot but not for me to point it out?
The only way you’ll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken’s A$$ and wait.
Did you know they used to be called “Jumpolines” until your mum jumped on one?
I just stepped in something that was smarter than you… and smelled better too.
I’m sorry, was I meant to be offended? The only thing offending me is your face.
It’s better to let someone think you’re stupid than open your mouth and prove it.
It looks like your face caught fire and someone tried to put it out with a hammer.
Your doctor called with your colonoscopy results. Good news – they found your head.
You have the right to remain silent because whatever you say will probably be stupid anyway.
I love what you’ve done with your hair. How do you get it to come out of the nostrils like that?
I’d like to see things from your point of view, but I can’t seem to get my head that far up your A$$.
Scientists say the universe is made up of neutrons, protons and electrons. They forgot to mention morons.
You’re such a beautiful, intelligent, wonderful person. Oh I’m sorry, I thought we were having a lying compeS#xion.
What’s the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus? One has a moustache and smells of fish and the other is a walrus.
When you were born, the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to your dad, “I’m very sorry. We did everything we could. But he pulled through.”
About Annie Rosy
Annie is a writer who likes to focus on funny pick up lines. She enjoys making people laugh and feel good, and thinks that using a clever line can be the perfect way to start a conversation. When she's not writing, Annie loves spending time with her friends and family. She's always up for trying new things, and is always looking for ways to make life more fun.
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