[Top 80] Funny Mexican Jokes in English!

by Annie Rosy

What does a mexican get 4 christmas?
Your TV
What do you call a mexican baptism?
Bean dip
2 mexicans are in a car, who is driving?
A cop
What’s a mexicans favorite book store?
What’s a mexican’s favorite sport?
cross country
What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe?Roberto
What do you call a building full of Mexicans?
[Top 80] Funny Mexican Jokes in English!
[Top 80] Funny Mexican Jokes in English!
What do you call mexican basketball?
Juan on Juan.
What do you call a Mexican with a new car?
A felon
What do Mexicans pick in the off season?
Their nose.
What do you call 4 Mexicans in quicksand?
Cuatro Cinco
What do you call a pool with a mexican in it?
Bean Dip.
What is it when a Mexican is taking a shower?
A miracle.
What do you call 100 mexicans working on a roof?
What do you call a group of stoned mexicans?
Baked beans
How do you stop a Mexican tank?
Shoot the guy pushing it.
What do you call a mexican on a riding lawnmower?
what do you call a mexican who;s had his car stolen?
What do you call a Mexican driving a BMW?
Grand Theft Auto.
What do you call a Mexican without a lawn mower?
Why aren’t there any mexican’s in hell?
they jumped the border
What do u call mexicans on a trampapoline?
Mexican jumping beans
Why are Mexicans so short?
They all live in baSêmênt apartments.
Why don’t mexicans bbq?
The beans fall through the little holes.
What do you call a mexican that can’t do any thing?
A mexi-can’t
Why cant mexicans play uno?
Because they always steal the green card
why do mexicans put there names on their car
so they dont steal them
What is the greatest Mexican invention?
A solar powered flash light.
How do you get 50 Mexicans is a phone booth?
Throw food stamps in it.
What are the first 3 words in every mexican cookbook?
steal a chicken
How Do You Starve A Mexican?
Put Their Food Stamps In Their Work Boots.
Why don’t Mexicans play hide and seek?
Cause nobody will look for them?
How do you keep mexicans from stealing?
Put everthing on the top shelf.
Did you hear about the winner of the mexican beauty contest?
Me neither.
what did the mexican say to the house that fell on him.
get off me home’s
Why don’t mexicans cross the border in 3’s?
Because it says no trespA$$ing
A bunch of Mexicans are running down a hill, what is going on?
Jail Break.
Did you hear about that one mexican that went to college?
yeah.. me neither
how do you stop a mexican from robbing your house?
put up a help-wanted sign
What is the difference between a Mexican and a bucket of crap…?
the bucket
Why are there no Mexicans in Star Trek?
They don’t work in the future either!
Why do mexicans have small stearing wheels?
so they can drive with handcuffs on
When a Mexican runs into a wall whats the first thing that hits?
His Lawn Mower
Why wasn’t Jesus born in Mexico?
He couldn’t find 3 wise men or a virgin. (burn)
What is the difference between a Mexican and an elevator?
One can raise a child.
Why are mexicans and basketball players a like?
they both run jump shoot and steal
What do you call a midget mexican?
Paragraph because he is to short to be an essay
Why do mexicans wear pointed boots?
Because it makes it easier to get over a fence.
Did you hear about the two car pile-up in the Walmart parking lot?
50 Mexicans died
What do you call a mexican that is barefoot and stepped in poop with his toe?
Why can’t mexicans be firemen?
They can’t tell the difference between jose and hose b
What do you do when a Mexican is riding a bike?
Chase after him, it’s probably yours!
What is the difference between a pizza and a mexican?
A pizza can feed a family of four
Why do Mexicans drive low riders?
They are too short to get into any other type of car.
What do you get when you cross a Mexican and a black person?
Somebody too lazy to steal.
Why were there only 5,000 mexican soldiers at the battle of Alamo?
They only had 2 vans.
Why doesn’t Mexico have an Olympic team?
Any Mexican that can run jump or swim is in the US!
Why do Mexicans re-fry their beans?
Have you seen a Mexican do anything right the first time?
what do mexicans and vending machines have in common?
they both take your money and don’t work.
Why do mexicans wear their baseball cap with the brim up?
So they have a place to keep their taco.
Juan,carlos,and antonio all jump off a cliff to see who will hit the ground first. who wins?
What do you get when you cross a mexican with an octopu$$?
I don’t know but it could pick lettuce good.
What did Davy Crocket say when he saw all the mexicans running towards the alamo?
Who ordered concrete?
How many mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Juan (that joke was so retarded I had to post it)
Why doesn’t the border have electric wires?
Because Mexicans will steal the electricity to power their house.
How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Doesn’t matter, they’re to short to reach the socket.
What’s the difference between a bench and a Mexican?
A bench can support a family (sorry, that one is really mean)
Why do mexican kids walk around school like they own the place?
Because their dads built it and their mom clean it.
Q .What do you call one Mexican on the moon?
A problem. What do you call two mexicans on the moon?
A. A bigger problem.
What do you call all of the mexicans on the moon?
A.Problem solved
Long Funny Racist Mexican Jokes
An Arab, Frenchman, American and a Mexican are riding down the highway. The Arab picks up an AK-47. He shoots a couple of rounds and then throws the gun out the window.
The American asks him why he through the gun out the window and the Arab says they have so many of those where he is from he doesn’t care about what happens to them.
The Frenchman picks up a bottle of wine and drinks a little and throws it out the window.
The American asks him why he tossed it. The Frenchman says they have so much of it where he is from he doesn’t care what happens to it.
The American picks up the Mexican and throws him out the window.
Two Americans and a Mexican are exploring in Africa and they stumble upon a tribe. The chief of the tribe tells the explorers that they are going to get fruit shoved up their butts and if they laugh they are going to get killed.Luckly, the Chief tells them they get to pick their own fruit. The two whittes pick berries and the Chief shoves it up their butts.
They both laugh their heads off. In heaven God asks them why they laughed. And the Americans reply, “The Mexican picked a watermelon.”
A little Mexican boy goes into the kitchen where his mom is baking. He puts his hand in the flour and wipes it all over his face.
He says, “Mom, look – I’m a white boy!” His mom slaps him in the face and says, “Go show your father.” He goes to his dad in the living room and says, “Look Dad, I’m a white boy.” His dad slaps him hard in the face and says, “Go show your grandmother.”
The boy goes into his grandmother’s room and say, “Mira, Abuelita, I’m a white boy.” His grandmother slaps him in the face and sends him back to his mother.
His mother says, “See, did you learn anything from that?” To which the boy replies, “Sure did! I have only been white for five minutes and I already hate you Mexicans!”
Three men are traveling in the Amazon, a German, an American, and a Mexican, and they get captured by some Amazons. The head of the tribe says to the German, “What do you want on your back for your whipping?” The German responds, “I will take oil!” So they put oil on his back, and a large Amazon whips him ten times. When he is finished the German has these huge welts on his back, and he can hardly move. The Amazons haul the German away, and say to the Mexican, “What do you want on your back?” “I will take nothing!” says the Mexican, and he stands there straight and takes his ten lashings without a single flinch. “What will you take on your back?” the Amazons ask the American. He responds, “I’ll take the Mexican.”
An Englishman, Frenchman, Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a small plane when the pilot comes on the loud speaker and says ” We’re having mechanical problems and the only way we can make it to the next airport is for 3 of you to open the door and jump, at least one of you can survive” The four open the door and look out below.
The Englishman takes a deep breath and hollers “God Save The Queen” and jumps.
The Frenchman gets really inspired and hollers “Viva La France” and he also jumps.
This really pumps up the Texan so he hollers “Remember the Alamo” and he grabs the Mexican and throws him out of the plane.
If there was a maze with with a million dollars in the center who do you think would win: the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, a smart mexican, or dumb mexican?
The dumb mexican, the rest don’t exist.

About Annie Rosy

Annie is a writer who likes to focus on funny pick up lines. She enjoys making people laugh and feel good, and thinks that using a clever line can be the perfect way to start a conversation. When she's not writing, Annie loves spending time with her friends and family. She's always up for trying new things, and is always looking for ways to make life more fun.

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