Hi, Can I domesticate you?
You wanna see a donkey show?
My wife doesn’t understand me.
Are you a drum? cause i’d bang you
Girl, you Make Curves Great Again.
S#x is a killer…want to die happy?
Keep calm and take your pants off.
Nice pants, can I test the zipper?
I’m hot, can I take your pants off.
Didn’t I see you in Girls Gone Wild?
I’m French h0rn¥ for your tromboner.
If you were a drug, I would overdose!
I find your lack of nudity disturbing
Someone farted. Let’s get out of here.
I wanna put my thingy into your thingy.
I have 4 words for you “Hol I Day Inn”.
Baby I last longer than a white crayon.
Call me a pirate and give me that b00ty
If your feeling down, can I feel you up?
Good news, the test results are negative!
Hell yeah I’m a D!¢K…I’m addicted to you.
Your eyes are as brown as the Hudson river
I call my D!¢K Notorious, cause it’s B.I.G.
Hey, somebody farted. Let’s get out of here.
Those are nice legs. do they come over easy?
I’ll be wiz khalifa and you can be my joint.
I am a love pirate. I like your boooty arrrgh
Nothing lasts forever… Can you be my nothing?
Girl are you a bong because I would hit that.
Guess what I’m wearing? The smile you gave me
“You see that door over there? Let’s go out.”
Yo must be scissors, cause your looking sharp.
One, two, three, four, I declare a tongue war.
I wish I were cross-eyed so I can see you twice
“My name is Khan, please sit and entertain me.”
“You wanna go skinny dipping… in my water bed?”
Hickory D!¢Kery Dock, it’s time to suck my c0©k.
Is your dad a donkey? Cause you have a great A$$!
If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?
I ain’t no hipster, but I can make your hips stir.
Hey! tell your nipples to stop staring at my eyes.
You stole my heart, so can I steal your last name?
You don’t need a bodyguard, you need a ‘b00tyguard’
“Are you stalking me? Because that would be super.”
I laugh at things I’m attracted to, what about you?
So we’re friends now, when do the benefits kick in?
Did I tell you I’m filthy rich and my mother’s dead?
Are you the dub to my step? cause’ I wub wub wub you
Your like my false teeth, I can’t smile without you.
Are you Stacey’s mom? Cause, you’ve got it going on.
Girl, you know you can’t resist….cankles like these.
We’re not socks. But I think we’d make a great pair.
Are you an alien? because you just abducted my heart.
I heard you like bonfires, well I’ll supply the wood.
Just say yes now and I won’t have to spike your drink.
Are you a campfire? Cause you’re hot and I want s’more
I must be allergic to nuts, but there’s no way you are.
You can call me Enterprise…cuz I’m here to pick you up.
“Your dad must not have a peπ!s. He’s got a paintbrush!”
I’m not staring at your BØØBs, I’m staring at your heart.
I hear you like Bolts, well let me teach you how to screw
You baby gimme your number before I don’t want it no more
I want to run my Hot Wheel around everyone of your curves!
Are you a magician? Because your making my peπ!s levitate.
I’m like a firefighter I find them hot and leave them wet.
You don’t have to wait until midnight to see my balls drop.
Hey babe, are you an angel? Cause I’m allergic to feathers.
Gurl, I’d fake blindness just to touch you inappropriately.
Are you a pirate? No, then where did you get all that b00ty?
It’s a celebration B!t¢hes! Now show Rick James your S#xi’s!
Mami you on fire…Le’me be the wind and make you even hotter.
I might not be Mormon, but I’m MoreMan that you’ve ever seen.
Do your parents compose clA$$ical music? Cause baby got Bach!
Girl your backside must be a cannon cause that A$$ is banging
Is your name Betty Crocker, cause your always making me rise.
Are you a angel? cause I’m allergic to feathers * fake sneeze *
Did you just fart? Shes says (No) “Well you just blew me away”!
If I’m a pain in your A$$, then we can just add more lubricant.
Girl, your so hot my zipper is falling for you! (make her look)
Hi, I was looking for a new friend and my boxers pointed at you.
I like Legos, you like Legos, why don’t we build a relationship?
Hey are you a window cause I can see right through them clothes.
Are you a drug, cause I mar!ju@n@ take you home with me tonight.
Excuse me, I’m looking for a friend…do you want to be my friend?
I know you’re busy today, but can you add me to your to-do list?
Do you have a map, because I want to find my way into your pants.
Do you like to bake? (Yes.) I’d love to feel your hot-cross buns.
Hey since I lifted your spirits, how about you lift up your shirt.
Do you have Diabetes? Cause your the sweetest girl I have ever met.
I spilled skittles down my pants. Do you want to taste the rainbow?
Are those space pants? Because your A$$ is taking up a lot of room.
Hey did you drop something? (Ummm What?) Your standards, Hi I’m Nick
Hey Baby, I just paid off this mustache, want to take it for a ride?
Just call me baby, cause I wanna be inside you for the next 9 months
I am conducting a field test of how many woman have pierced nipples.
Roses are Red Violets are Blue, How about I put this D inside of you
Your belly button is in the wrong place! It should be on top on mine!
On my last date, we played strip poker. We stripped, and I poked her.
I need a dollar but I only have 90 cents…… do you want to be my dime?
You must work in a library because you just increased my circulation!
I may be hung like a tic-tac, but I’ll leave your breath minty fresh!
Hey do you want to be on top of the world? If so can I be your world?
Are you an architect? Because you just erected a monument in my pants.
I love you with all my butt, I would say heart, but my butt is bigger.
If your were a stamp, I’d lick your backside and send you to funkytown.
Girl are you my new Phone? Cause I can’t stop staring at you in public.
90% of my game is corny pick up lines and the other 10 is awkward stares
I just got out of Leavenworth. Can I steal you a drink? How about a BMW?
I know milk does a body good, but baby, how much have you been drinking?
You look a bit tired. Getting laid would do wonders for your complexion.”
Are you a thrift shop? Cuz yo tags aren’t the only thing I’ll be popping.
You look much more attractive in person than you do through my telescope.
Roses are Red, Violets are blue, give me some head while I’m taking a poo.
Would you like to come back to my place and eat cereal and watch cartoons?
I advise you to surrender immediately, or I’ll have to use a pick up line.
Roses are Red, Violets are Plants, what are you wearing, under your pants.
How about you and I go into that darkroom over there and see what develops
How about I teach you about firefighting by letting you slide down my pole
Did you sleep in a garbage can last night? Because you are looking trashy!
Do you know Karate, cause I don’t want you to kick me when I grab your A$$.
Hey baby, are you an angel? Because I’m allergic to feathers. (Aaaaachoooo.)
Hey you looking for a stud in your life? Cause I got the STD all I need is U
If I were a tractor and you were a plow, I would definitely hook up with you.
Do you like pirates? Cause I got a lot of seamen that wanna meet ya. Yaharrrr
I got arrested the other day. [For what?] For having two guns and a six pack.
Baby, you’ve bought yourself a cruise on the Love Boat. I’ll be your captain.
“I’m lookin’ for a girl like my mother. She knew her place. But in a good way.”
Have you ever milked a cow before? cause your gonna need a bucket for this too.
Roses are red, violets are blue, how would you like it if I came home with you?
It’s a good thing I wore my gloves today; otherwise, you’d be too hot to handle.
I think it is time I tell you what people are saying behind your back. Nice A$$!
Hey babe would you come with me to the bakery because I want a cutie pie like you!
Did you get those pants on sale? (Why?) Because at my house they would be 100% off!
“Do you believe in the hereafter? Well, then I guess you know what I’m here after.”
Is your dad a lumber jack because every time I look at you i get a wood in my pants.
“Smile if you want to sleep with me.” (And watch them try to hold back their laugh.)
I know hello in 6 different languages, which one do you want me to tell you tomorrow?
I haven’t seen my ex-wife for over ten years. Nobody else has either; I’ll never tell.
“You’ve stolen my heart away. Luckily, I’ve got another three or four in the freezer.”
Hey let’s play carpenter, first we get hammered, I get some wood, and then I nail you.
“Are you here alone, or will someone have to retain your affections over my dead body?”
You have pretty eyeballs. Of course they’d be better if they were eyeing my pretty balls
I have a dirty weekend planned. Do you know what I’m going to do? Three loads of laundry.
I heard there is a yard sale back at your house, so lets get you out of those old clothes.
If you come home with me, we can do whatever we want…. as long as we don’t wake up my mom.
I’m like a celebrity going to a party, I always make a big entrance and I never C^m early.
Me without you is like a nerd without braces, a shoe without laces, ASentenceWithoutSpaces.
Hey Girl If you were a book then I wouldn’t be able to read you, cause your print is so fine.
First, I’d like to kiss you pA$$ionately on the lips, then, I’ll move up to your belly button.
Hey, my name’s [insert your name here] and I can disappoint you in ways you’ve never imagined.
What do you do for a living? I’m a proctologist; the sign on my office door says ?park in rear.’
I have the “I”, I have the “L”, I have the “O”, I have the “V”, I have the “E”, so, can I have “U”?
How about your red phosphorus coating and my short stick get together? Cuz its obvious we’re a match.
“Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears?” (pull your pockets inside out) “Would you like to?”
Do you know the best way to stop back pain and lose 20 pounds? Get a peπ!s reduction; it worked for me!
(Girl coming out of a bar): “Hi, I think I am gonna be the last guy to ask for your phone number today”.
You remind me of my appendix. I don’t know you, but something inside me is saying I should take you out.
Hi, I’m a birdwatcher and I’m looking for a Big-Breasted Bed thrasher, Do you know where i can find one?
“I want to tell you your fortune.” Take her hand and write your phone number on it. “There’s your future.”
Do you have a New Year’s Resolution? I’m looking at mine right now. Let’s ring in the New Year with a bang!
Well if I were a painter, I’d put you down in paint. I’d hang you by the Mona Lisa and put that girl to shame.
My favorite singer is Mick Jagger. He can’t get no satisfaction, and neither can I. Want to help me change that?
Is your name Rapunzel, cause I need a girl who never leaves the bedroom and constantly wants me to pull her hair.
You don’t want to have S#x on your period? I don’t mind a little ketchup on the hot dog as long as the bun is tight.
I grew up during the sixties, with the peace and love generation. If I can’t get some love, I’d like to get a piece.
Go up to a someone at a bar or a dance and ask her: Do you want a Fu©k… (wait for a second for her reaction)…ing drink?
Omelette you in on a secret. You and I would brie perfectly gouda. Life would be feta if we were togetha. We’ll be grate.
Use index finger to call someone over then say, “I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand.”
If you were one of the three little pigs and I was the big bad wolf, instead of blowing your house down I would blow you kisses.
Excuse me, My name is Ben Dover (bend over). Would you like to meet my friend Master Bates (masterbaits)? Or should I do it for you?
“You know, sometimes it’s nice flirting with your eyes accross the room for hours. But today ain’t one of those times. Now what’s your name?”
You are young and fun-loving, that gives you 10 points. Then you are blonde, that gives you five points. At 20 points you get my phone number.
If you were a Pirate would your parrot be on this sholder (hand on closer sholder) or this sholder? (arm around her with hand on other sholder)
You remind me of my little toe! (Why, is it because I’m small and cute?) Nope, because I’m probably going to bang you on my coffee table when I’m drunk.
Boy: Babe, you wanna play a game?
Girl: “What game?”
Boy: Not hide n seek!
Boy: Because its impossible to find a girl like you!
“My boys over there bet that I wouldn’t be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful girl in the room. Want to buy some drinks with their money?”