[TOP 50] Doctor-Nurse-Hospital Related Pick Up Lines

by Annie Rosy

I wish I was your coronary artery, so that I could be wrapped around your heart.

You’re the sinoatrial node of my heart. Without you, even a defibrillator won’t save me.

You are systemic and I’m pulmonary. We may be divided, but together we are one.

I think you are lacking some vitamin me.

If I were an enzyme, I’d be DNA helicase so that I may unzip your genes.

Can I take your temperature? You’re looking hot today.

Are you my appendix? I have a gut feeling I should take you out.

[TOP 50] Doctor-Nurse-Hospital Related Pick Up Lines

You get my heart racing like an epinephrine drip.

Am I attracted to you or is it just volatile blood sugars?

Blood is red, cyanosis is blue, I get tachycardia when I think of you.

ICU in my dreams.

The way you talk to me leaves me aphasic.

I just want to swab you up and down, then left and right, until we’re both afebrile.

You must be my coronary artery because you’re wrapped around my heart.

If I said you had a monoclonal antibody, would you hold it against me?

You raise my dopamine levels.

Wanna go study some anatomy?

Emphysema puffs pink, chronic bronchitis makes you blue, but no COPD makes me as breathless as you.

Are you a C-reactive protein? Because you have a-cute phase.

You’re systemic and I’m pulmonary. Though we may be divided, together we are one.

My love for you is so strong it can’t be dialyzed.

Can I be your ophthalmologist ‘cause I can’t stop looking into your eyes.

I get all Kluver-Bucy around you.

You’d better be a cardiologist, because something about you makes me want to give you my heart.

Are you drowning? Because I’m feeling the urge to give you CPR.

You’re the sinoatrial node of my heart. Without you, even a defibrillator won’t save me.

Are you COPD? Because you take my breath away.

I didn’t plan on specializing, but you seem pretty special to me.

I hope someday to be your emergency contact.

Let’s exchange genetic information!

Stand back, I’m a doctor. You go get an ambulance, I’ll loosen her clothes.

If you need a love doctor, I have like a medicated degree.

Are you a doctor? Cause you just cured my erectile dysfunction.

They don’t call me Bones because I’m a doctor.

Hey girl you look good with a tube in your mouth wanna try something else in my room.

Can I take your temperature? Because you’re looking hot today.

I’m like a doctor, actually an orthodontist, I’m gonna have to ask you to, ya know, uh take off your clothes

Playing doctor is for kids…let’s play gynecologist!”

“Wanna play ‘Doctor’, Doctor?”

I don’t want to go all Freudian on you, but cute doctors pull strong feelings from me because they’re a safe target for feelings I originally had for my parents.

“I’d like to find another doctor.” “Why?” “Because I’ve got a crush on you. Would you like to grab lunch sometime?”

My adductor isn’t the only thing that’s longus.

How about we ditch this joint and go study some anatomy?

Are you my appendix? Cause I have a gut feeling I should take you out.

No that’s not an epi-pen in my pants, I’m just happy to see you.

I am an organ donor, need anything?

My sudden protracted cardiac arrhythmia makes me think I’m falling for you.

I wish I was your coronary artery, so that I could be wrapped around your heart.

(Hold out a stethoscope) Why don’t you listen to your heart and go out with me?

Is your name Flecainide? Because I think you just made my heart skip a beat.

When you walked in the door your beauty hit me so hard that I have a priapism from all the trauma.

(Hold out a stethoscope) Why don’t you listen to your heart and go out with me?

(Look for any small skin imperfection) Has anyone ever looked at that? Why don’t we go back to my place so I can give you a full exam?

Are you a doctor? Because you just cured my erectile dysfunction.

Are you a nurse? Because you cured my erectrile disfunction.

Are you a pulmonary embolism? ‘Cause I can’t breathe when I’m around you.

Are you Broca’s Aphasia? Because you leave me speechless.

Are you lost Ma’am? Because heaven is a long way from here.

Are you my appendix? Because I don’t understand how you work, but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out.

Baby you’re so sweet you’re gonna put me in DKA!

Baby, you make me vasodilate!

Blood is red, cyanosis is blue, I get tachycardia when I think of you.

Can I take your temperature? Because you’re looking hot today.

Come into my office and take off your pants.

Did you damage my cerebellum? Because I’m falling all over the place for you.

Do you believe in love at first site, or do I have to walk by again?

Do you have a Band-Aid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.

Do you have an inhaler? You took my breath away.

Does this rag smell like chloroform?

Does your left eye hurt? Because you’ve been looking right all day.

EMTs come when people go down

Ever slept with an EMT? Want to?

Excuse me, I think you dropped something: My jaw.

Fire Fighters play with their hoses, I bring the bed

Hey baby, wanna play with my corpus cavernosum?

Hey girl, you’re like a car accident, because I can’t look away.

Hey, are you a conditioned stimulus? Because you’re making me drool.

How about we ditch this joint and go study some anatomy?

I am an organ donor, need anything?

I can find every pulse in your body!

I can make your heart skip a beat. No really, I’m certified to do it!

I don’t want to go all Freudian on you, but cute doctors pull strong feelings from me because they’re a safe target for feelings I originally had for my parents.

I have all sorts of protection

I have my own multi-positional bed

I hope you pA$$ed CPR because you’re taking my breath away

I might need life alert, because I’ve fallen in love with you and can’t get up.

I need a life. Please lower your standards and go out with me.

I need to practice my trauma A$$essments. Will you be my patient?

I think you are suffering from a lack of Vitamin Me.

I wish I was your coronary artery, so that I could be wrapped around your heart.

I’d like to find another doctor. Why? Because I’ve got a crush on you. Would you like to grab lunch sometime?

I’d love to do a 12 lead on you

I’ll shock the socks off you

I’m a medic, I know your body better then you do!

I’m an expert in mouth-to-mouth

I’m familiar with Latex and restraints

I’m feeling a little off today. Will you turn me on?

I’m good with multiple partners

I’m like a doctor, actually an orthodontist, I’m gonna have to ask you to, ya know, uh take off your clothes

I’m no organ donor, but I’d happy to give you my heart.

I’m the best in rapid clothing removal

I’m used to staying up all night

If I go into cardiac arrest will you give me mouth to mouth?

If you need a love doctor, I have like a medicated degree.

Is that a Laryngoscope handle in your pants or are you just happy to see me?

Is there something in your eye? Oh wait, its just a sparkle.

Is your name Flecainide? Because I think you just made my heart skip a beat.

Is your name Osteoporosis? Because you’re giving me a serious bone condition.

Keep talking… I’m diagnosing you.

Medics know how to pick you up 5 different ways

My adductor isn’t the only thing that’s longus.

My love for you burns stronger than my urinary tract infection.

My love for you is like diarrhea. I can’t hold it in.

My sudden protracted cardiac arrhythmia makes me think I’m falling for you.

No one else can cut off your clothes, restrain you, and sedate you like a medic can… Wanna play?

No that’s not an epi-pen in my pants, I’m just happy to see you.

On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight?

Playing doctor is for kids…let’s play gynecologist!”

Sit back and relax…I fix broken hearts.

Stand back, I’m a doctor. You go get an ambulance, I’ll loosen her clothes.

That pulsation in my femoral sheath isn’t coming from an artery.

They don’t call me Bones because I’m a doctor.

Those clothes look uncomfortable… need me to cut them off for you?

Trust me, this is how they did Mammograms back in the old days.

Wanna feel safe tonight? Sleep with an EMT.

Wanna join the code 3 club?

Wanna play ‘Doctor’, Doctor?

Wanna see if we can drown out the siren?

We always come when we are called

We are prepared for any rhythm

We should get some coffee… Because I’m liking you a latte.

When we first met I couldn’t get you out of my mind,now I can’t get you out of my heart.

When you walked in the door your beauty hit me so hard that I have a priapism from all the trauma.

Whenever I’m near you, I undergo anaerobic respiration because you take my breath away.

Where there is a pulse there is a chance.

You breathe oxygen? We have so much in common.

You give me premature ventricular contractions.

You have acute angina.

You know, I’ve been highly trained to stick things into people…

You look familiar. Did we have clA$$ together? I could have sworn we had chemistry.

You make my dopamine levels all silly.

You must be the one for me… Since my selectively permeable membrane let you through.

You’ve got 206 bones in your body, want one more?

You’ve got beautiful veins

Your bus or mine?

Your calves must be aching. Because you’ve been back-marching through my mind all day.

About Annie Rosy

Annie is a writer who likes to focus on funny pick up lines. She enjoys making people laugh and feel good, and thinks that using a clever line can be the perfect way to start a conversation. When she's not writing, Annie loves spending time with her friends and family. She's always up for trying new things, and is always looking for ways to make life more fun.

[TOP 50] Doctor-Nurse-Hospital Related Pick Up Lines

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