[Top 100] Dirty Cocky Pick Up Lines

by Annie Rosy

Hi! I’m Craven Morehead are you?

Are you Yoda? Cause Yodalicious.

I do not fancy wines, I prefer moans

I’m French h0rn¥ for your tromboner.

Nice package let me help unwrap that!

So, does the IQ match, the shoe size?

I lost my virginity. Can I have yours?

You’ve got a lawyers A$$! Yup its firm.

“Hey sweetheart, can I oil your piston?”

I love pick up trucks not pick up lines.

You know what I like in a girl? My D!¢K.

Do you know what’d look good on you? Me.

You don’t need car keys to drive me crazy.

If you’re feeling down, I can feel you up.

I’m not drunk, I’m just intoxicated by you.

Didn’t you used to be known as John Holmes?

You want to melt in my mouth or in my hand?

I’d like to name a multiple 0rg@sm after you.

If I were an NES cartridge would you blow me?

My batteries are dead, can I borrow your D!¢K?

You know what would go good on ur hot dog? Mayo

Are you a trampoline cuz I wanna bounce on you?

I don’t need a spoonful of sugar to swallow you.

Are you David Beckham? Because I’d bend for you.

Boy if you were a vegetable you’d be a cuteC^mber

Your body is a wonderland and I want to be Alice.

Do you sleep on your stomach? Him: NO… You: Can I?

Hey baby…I can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch?

Are you hunting for a hottie because im legal game.

Are you a carpenter? Because you can handle my wood.

You’re so hot ; a firefighter couldn’t put you out .

Have you been to my yard? I make the best milkshakes

Aren’t you the guy who gets fan mail from Ron Jeremy?

I may not go down in history, but I’ll go down on you.

Would you like a gin and platonic or a Scotch and sofa?

Is your name Lionel?, cause your made my panties Messi.

“Hi, i’m writing a phone book, can I have your number?”

What’s a nice guy like you doing with a body like that?

Are my undies showing? [“No.”] “Would you like them to?”

Are you a burger cuz you can be the meat between my buns

Is your name Tom Brady? Cause you can inflate my uterus.

Do you work at Home Depot? Because you’re giving me wood.

Do you run track? Cause I heard you Relay want this D!¢K.

I may not be Dairy Queen, baby, but I’ll treat you right!

I would tell you a joke about my peπ!s, but it’s too long!

Your smile is almost as big, warm, and lovely as my peπ!s!

Do you eat tacos? (yes, why?) Because my Taco Bell is open

Excuse me, but would you like an orally stimulated 0rg@sm?

Are you a trampoline because I want to bounce all over you?

Are you from Iraq? ‘Cause I like the way you Baghdad A$$ up.

Hey baby…I can suck a golf ball thru 50 feet of garden hose?

Is your name country crock, cause you can spread me anytime.

My D!¢K just died. Would you mind if I buried it in your A$$?

I will be a Dixie Chick and you be my cowboy… now take me away!

Are you a doctor? cause you just cured my erectile dysfunction.

They’re called “eyebrows” cus my eyes are browsin your fine A$$

Hi, I’m wasted but this condom in my pocket doesn’t have to be.

Are you a smoke detector? Cause you’re really loud and annoying.

Hey, you wanna do a 68? You go down on me, and I’ll owe you one.

Baby you be the tree, and I’ll wrap around you like a koala bear

Do you mix concrete for a living? Because you’re making me hard.

Are you on the drumline? Because I want to play with your stick.

“I’m trying to quit smoking, wanna give me a new oral fixation?”

Are you a football player? Because I’d like you touchdown there!

“Hi, i’m wasted but this condom in my pocket doesn’t have to be.”

You can call me the Garbagewoman, cause I wanna handle your junk.

I’m not a construction worker, but I would like to use your wood.

Do you train cats? (No, why?) Because you just made my p*ssy C^m!

Are you from the ghetto? Cause I’m about to ghetto hold of dat A$$.

Are you a termite? Cause you’re about to have a mouth full of wood.

Are you a parking ticket? Cause’ you got fine written all over you.

Boy is your name homework because I’m not doing you and I should be.

Could you please step away from the bar ? You’re melting all the ice

Are you as sweet as candy, cause I want to lick you like a lollypop.

Hi, did your license get suspended for driving all these girls crazy?

Were you in Boy Scouts? Because you sure have tied my heart in a knot.

I’m no weather man, but you can expect more than a few inches tonight.

I love you with all my butt, I would say heart, but my butt is bigger.

Are you a farmer? Because you’ve got some big, round, beautiful melons!

That shirt’s very becoming on you. If I were on you, I’d be coming too.

I may not be a windshield repairman, but I can still fill your crack in.

Are you a Veterinarian? (No Why) because I need you to look at my pu$$y…

Do you have an Asian pA$$port? Because I’m China get into your Japantees

I could hear your c0©k talking and it just told me to blow you…. a kiss!

You know what they say about men with big feet. Want to prove that to me?

Is your name Google? Because you have everything I’ve been searching for.

“I hear you’re good at algebra…..Will you replace my eX without asking Y?”

Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.

You remind me of a Twinkie. Every time I bite into you, you cream in my mouth.

Your face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up.

My beaver is bored and wants to play, do you have any wood for my beaver today

I think it’s time I tell you what people are saying behind your back… “Nice A$$!”

Are you a dictionary? (Why?) Because you just gave me the definition of Gorgeous.

You know what would make your face look better? (What?) My legs wrapped around it.

Whip it out and show me what you got, so I can save the disappointment from later.

Girl, you should sell hotdogs, because you already know how to make a wiener stand!

Do you have a mirror in your pocket? (Why?) Because I can see myself in your pants.

Are you a middle eastern dictator? Because there’s a political uprising in my pants!

Boy, are you the tiger from the Frosted Flakes box? Because you’re looking “Grrrrreat!”

“I’d like to point out that “beautiful” has U in it. But, ‘quickie’ has U & I together.”

I’m wearing Revlon Colorstay Lipstick, want to help me test the claim that it won’t kiss off?.

Your legs are like an Oreo Cookie – I wanna split them and eat all the good stuff in the middle.

Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears? [Pull your pockets inside out] Would you like to?

My friend over there really wants your number so he knows where to get a hold of me in the morning.

Hey, you look like a big strong guy. You think you could handle my p*ssy or is it too much for you?

You remind me of my little toe… because I’m going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my home.

There are plenty of fish in the sea, but you’re the only one I’d like to catch and mount back at my place.

I know you think im S#xy, I know you think im fine, but just like all the other guys get a number and wait in line

Put a dollar bill on your head and when he asks what you did that for tell him its all you can eat for under a dollar

You touch his shirt and ask, “Is this cotton?” Wait for response. Then touch down in the crotch area and say, “Oh, this must be felt.”

About Annie Rosy

Annie is a writer who likes to focus on funny pick up lines. She enjoys making people laugh and feel good, and thinks that using a clever line can be the perfect way to start a conversation. When she's not writing, Annie loves spending time with her friends and family. She's always up for trying new things, and is always looking for ways to make life more fun.

[Top 100] Dirty Cocky Pick Up Lines

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