I want to bone you.
I’m an Uncyclopedia reader and contributor.
My mom won’t be home for hours…
Fancy a game of pin the c0©k in the arsehole?
You have 206 bones in your body. Want one more?
I wrote the dictionary on my c0©k last night if you come to my house ill put some words in your mouth!
[Top 100] Worst Pick Up lines -You’ve Ever Heard
I may not be the prettiest girl/most handsome guy in here, but I’m the only one talking to you.
I’m no Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed rock.
Get out of your life and into my bed!
Don’t make me rape you…
McDonald’s isn’t the only thing that is super-sized…
Hey baby, want to socialize your means of reproduction?
My favourite position is The Serial Killer.
Nice shoes, let’s Fu©k.
I’ve lost my teddy bear! Can I sleep with you instead?
Wanna play park the snake in the garage?
Your mom was pretty good, so i figured you would be too.
I have a rare tropical disease which will kill me unless I have S#x within the next half hour.
I’m a pu$$y-fist… err, pacifist, that’s what I meant.
Is that a mirror in your pocket? ‘Cause I can see myself in your pants.
I just jizzed in my pants
Cold out isn’t it? (staring at breasts)
Hi. You’ll do my grandmother while eating dog food, right? SCORE!!!
Nice legs; what time do they open?
Please, I am needing wife to get green card, but Immigration is wanting, how you say, proof of consummation.
Hey my sweet bit of fried chicken! The names Lee, Lee Hunton. If you like your prawns brutal, I’m your man!
I like my ladies the way i like my peanut butter… CHUNKY!
You have a better body than my dead great-grandmother!
Have you ever seen a 2-incher?
Secret Service, ma’am. I need to do a full body cavity search. National security, you know.
And I thought I had a boner before!
So… What do you say? I’m a great driver.
I have a thing for amputees.
Hey pretty lady, I know Klingon, and tonight I’m going Klingon to you!
You look like Carmen Electra’s deformed, burned, dismembered sister…
(As loud and angry as you can say) “Hulk h0rn¥. Hulk Fu©k!”
Dammit, I creamed my trousers again!
Do you enjoy having S#x with pitbulls, too?
(in an Australian accent) “I want to Fu©k your bloody brains out.”
My favourite number’s 69.
Hey baby that dress is amazing! It would look even better as a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor!
Burger King isn’t the only thing that is king-sized…
I’m like a Rubik’s Cube. The more you play with me, the harder I get.
“WHERE DO YOU COME FROM?” (angrily)
I’m a Wikipedia reader and contributor.
You don’t sweat much for a fat chick.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I suck at poems, nice S#xs
Wanna have S#x?
So what do ya say? Wanna love me? Or Raymond, like everybody else?
Damn, you look good in beer goggles…
Hi, I’m part Native American, would you like to ride my totem pole?
Come on babe its time for you to suck the days D!¢K.
Sorry, I thought this was the men’s room. Still, while we’re alone in here…
Your eyes are like limpid pools of primordial ooze, and I am the protozoa that wish to swim in their depths.
Wow, you look like Xena the Warrior Princess! Wanna date?
I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?
Did you know a teaspoon of sperm only contains 2 calories?
Gee, this is one warm mA$$age table. Oh, wait, it’s you.
You need something to shut that big mouth of yours.
I bet you 100 quid you can’t turn me hetero.
It’s called “The Forbidden Kingdom” for a reason.
So, how do you like 4th grade?”(this is also the ultimate question for The Answer to The Great Question of Life, The Universe, and Everything.)
Are you a slave girl? Because you look like you should be.
This is where you start running.
Is it true you’re a lesbian?
If you were a woman, I’d so have S#x with you.
So, do have any Bulgarian in you? Would you like some/some more?
If I had a dime for every time I tried to pick up a chick, I’d still be poor.
May I play motorboat?
I am the force. Close your eyes and feel me flow through you.
I’m going to have S#x with you tonight, you might as well be there to enjoy it.
Damn you’re ugly! Did you hit every branch on the ugly tree when you fell off and then climb back up for seconds?
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put you in between F and CK.
Are you free tonight or will it cost me?
Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, except down under…
I’m sine squared theta; you’re cosine squared theta. Together we are one.
That shirt is very becoming on you. If I was on you, I’d be coming too.
How do you like your eggs in the morning, scrambled or fertilized?
The word of the day is legs. Let’s go to your house and spread the word.
My friend use to hand out phone cards that said Smile if you’re h0rn¥.
Hey good lookin’, wanna smell my finger?
You’re hot, I’m ugly. Lets make average babies.
My shirt would look great on your bedroom floor.
Hey there, baby! I see you like sudoku… Well, you know, it’s a long story, but I’ve got a sudoku puzzle tattooed on my abs… In braille! Wanna solve it?
“Steve Johnson thinks that you’re really hot and that you should sleep with him.” ~ Oscar Wilde on that hot chick at the bar
I promise I won’t videotape you in your sleep and sell the video on the Internet more than once.
Would you find it quite spiffing if I inserted my genitalia into your genitalia?
Just keep it up, baby. Yeah, you’re getting there.
You must have fallen from Heaven. That would explain how you messed up your face.
(Thick Arab accent) “Hello… My son likes you!
You know, pants are a vestigial organ. Yours look infected.
Hey baby, I’ve got AIDS.
Breathe if you’re h0rn¥. Alright! score!
You look just like a swan. You have skinny legs but a fat A$$.
Are you from the Netherlands? Because you are one big d*k!
You’re hotter than my daughter.
(in a British accent) “I want to Fu©k your bloody brains out.”
How much is the fish?