“Does this mean I won’t be a virgin by the end of the week?”
Are you ovulating? I need a favor cuz I need a baby within the year to get my inheritance.
Are you Jewish? Cause the way you’re looking at me, I’m beginning to think Jewish this D!¢K was in your mouth.
Do you have something stuck in your eye? Oh, never mind, it’s just your sparkle.
Is your personality as angelic as your hair?
I’m no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock!
How many times have you pictured me naked since we matched?
“Did you know you’re the hottest (insert generic name here- Jessica, Stacy, Mike, etc) on Tinder?”
Holy cow, your eyes look just like falling stars.
I want you to treat me like a pirate and just give me your b00ty.
If a thousand painters worked for a thousand years, they could not create a work of art as beautiful as you.
Your lips seem lonely…want-a meet mine?
You know what you would look totally beautiful in? Simply put…my arms.
Can you please tell me what the odds are of me seeing you naked tonight?
Do you believe in love at first swipe?
Are you a middle eastern dictator? Because you’re causing a political uprising in my pants
Hey, we’re a match! Does this mean we’re dating now? Give me a second, I need to change my Facebook relationship status.
You’re so gorgeous that you made me forget my good pickup line.
You’ve got the best smile on tinder. I bet you use Crest.
My dad told me life is just like a deck of cards, which means you’ve got to be the queen of hearts.
I would love to offer you a cigarette but seriously, you are already smoking hot!
Hey babe what’s up? If you were a spider, you would be a mommy long legs.
Roses are Red,
Please tell me, on a scale of one to America, how available are you this evening?
I’m thinking you’re a robber because you just totally stole my heart.
I know I’m not an organ donor, but I’m totally happy giving you my heart.
Are you my appendix? Because this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out.
I would absolutely love to swap bodily fluids with you.
Hey, what’s going on? So what’s happening little trouble maker? Please tell me what I need to do to get on your drunk dial list.
I’m certain your heart stops when you sneeze. The same thin that happens when I’m pondering you.
Let me ask you something, is your middle name Gillette? Cuz there’s no doubt you are the best a man will ever get.
I was all set to say something really sweet about you but when I caught a glimpse of you I was totally speechless.
Did you have lucky charms for breakfast? Because you look magically delicious!
Be unique and different, say yes.
Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, We’re a match on Tinder, So I think we should screw.
You must be a small amount of red phosphorus and I must be a tiny wooden stick… Because we’re a match.
Maybe you can help me. I forgot the pA$$word to my account, and when I hit ‘pA$$word hint,’ it keeps telling me ‘Jessica’s phone number.’
So apparently we both have fantastic taste. So this is to you and me. I’m doing all the talking and you are just sitting looking pretty.
Are you from China? Cause I’m China get in your pants.
“You must be a small amount of red phosphorus and I must be a tiny wooden stick… Because we’re a match.”
Hey sweet stuff. What are you up to? I just want to snap your chat.
Did you grow up on a chicken farm? ‘Cause you sure know how to raise a c0©k.
“I’ve had a crush on you for 2 hours.”
Are you the SAT? Cause I’d do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes, with a ten minute break in the middle for snacks.
I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours?
Hey you….Hey…I’m trying to chap with you!
On a scale of 1 to America, how free are you tonight?
Is your name Daisy? Because I have a sudden urge to plant you right here!
Want to come over to my place and watch P0®n on my flat screen mirror?
Hey, what’s up gorgeous girl? Seriously terrified of your response.
I usually go for 8’s but I guess I’ll settle for a 10.
Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Cause you have a pretty sweet A$$.
Did you know that before I left the rap game my stage name was Jenuine Rhyme…and I took Brooklyn by storm.
My parents are so excited, they can’t wait to meet you!
I need a favor. Can you please give me the direct route to your heart because I guess I’ve gotten lost in your eyes.
They say Tinder is a numbers game… so can I get your number?
What are the chances I see you naked tonight?
All because of you I cry much less, laugh a whole lot harder, and smile constantly.
“Do you have a job? I need a woman who can support me while I play video games all day.”
We’re a match! The next step is to pick a wedding date, right?
I know if I died now I’d be happy because I just got a little taste of Heaven.
If you worked at “build-a-bear” I’d stuff you right now.
Did you know you’re the hottest (insert generic name here- Jessica, Stacy, Mike, etc) on Tinder?
So happy I’m wearing gloves because you’re way too hot to handle.
I just need to tell you that you’re so beautiful that you give reason for the sun to shine bright each day.
So I think we should screw.
I’ve had a crush on you for 2 hours.
You’re coming over tonight to watch Game of Thrones and make out.
Do you work at build-a-bear? Because I’d stuff you.
Babe, I need to tell you that you give brand new meaning to what “edible” means.
There’s no doubt we would make S#xy babies. I just checked out your profile for the past few days simply trying to come up with a clever message that you encourage you to say, “ Just take me know please”…holy crap, I’ve never worked this hard for a girl ever.
Are you from Tennessee? Cuz you are the only 10 I can see.
“I usually go for 8’s but I guess I’ll settle for a 10.”
Does this mean I won’t be a virgin by the end of the week?
I was thinking of calling heaven and asking for an angel but what I really want is a bad girl.
Do you like Nintendo? Cause Wii would look good together.
Ffffffiiiiiirrrreeee! No doubt…when you yell fire you grab attention good or bad.
No wonder the sky is grey today, all the blue is in your eyes.
Give me your number now.
I seriously want you to take me to brunch. Please don’t bust my heart because brunch time is just about finished.
You wanna know what’s beautiful? Read the first word again.
Before I try and hit on you please tell me if you have an issue with small genitalia.
“Hey gorgeous, will you be my Tinderella?”
I need to tell you something. Your eyes are so much bluer than the Pacific ocean and I’m totally lost at sea.
You are pretty much perfect. If I could change anything the only thing I would change would be your last name.
Do you happen to have a map cuz babe I am getting lost in your eyes.
You don’t know how many times I had to swipe left to find you!
I need to tell you that from the moment I saw you I looked for a signature, because any masterpiece always has one.
Do you have a personality as attractive as your eyes?
Before I hit on you, do you have a problem with large genitalia?
I hope you know that I am 100% committed to this tinder relationship
What’s a smart, attractive, young man like myself doing without your number?
“Do you believe in love at first swipe?”
You’re the type of girl I’d let sit on my face for a long period of time.
Sorry, the position for Spanish teacher has been filled. What I’m looking for at the moment is a bedroom acrobatic teacher.
“My parents are so excited, they can’t wait to meet you!”
Please tell me…If I was your heart would you let me beat.
“Is your personality as angelic as your hair?”
“Hey, we’re a match! Does this mean we’re dating now? Give me a second, I need to change my Facebook relationship status.”
Please excuse me…I’m creating an easy on the finest things in life, and I was wondering if you had a few minutes for me to interview you.
Do you like Pizza Hut? Cause I’ll stuff your crust.
“We’re a match! The next step is to pick a wedding date, right?”
I really hope there is a fireman around, because you are totally smoking hot!
Love your picture. Big thanks. Do you want to eat cookie dough sometime together?
We’re a match on Tinder,
I really don’t have a library card but can I please check you out?
I must confess, I wish I was one of your teardrops so I could be in your eyes, slip down your cheek, and lie still on your lips.
I never saw you coming and I’ll never be the same.
Yes, I’m trying to put a ring on it and I don’t mean my finger dear.
Do you have a job? I need a woman who can support me while I play video games all day.
I need to ask you something. Perhaps are you a middle Eastern dictator cuz I think there is some sort of political uprising in my pants.
YOU. NUMBER. NOW.
Do you mix concrete for a living? Because you’re making me hard.
Can you please tell me how many seafood dinners it’s going to take so I can transform your bedroom into an acrobat bedroom?
Have you got a Bandaid cuz I just scraped my knee falling for you.
Are you African? Because you’re a frican babe.
Since distance equals velocity times time, let’s let velocity and time approach infinity, because I want to go all the way with you.
If kisses clA$$ified as snowflakes I would send you a hardcore blizzard.
Yesterday, I saw a radiant flower and thought it was the most precious thing I had ever seen, that was until I met you.
If you were a vegetable you’d be a cute-C^mber.
Did you know I use pizza in the bedroom.
I could’ve called heaven and asked for an angel, but I was hoping you’re a SI#t instead.
I swear you must be a musician because every single time I look at you I know everything else just disappears.
Hi there. Cupid just called and told me to tell you to please give me my heart back.
What is your gpa?
Hey gorgeous, will you be my Tinderella?
I’ve got a question for you. Don’t you think we would look fantastic on a wedding cake together?
That’s a nice shirt. Can I try it on after we have S#x?
I’ve been abstaining for the past few years and just looking to get back out there and get my feet wet.
So the only thing left that your eyes haven’t said yet is your name.
Is your name Earl Grey? Because you look like a hot-tea!
Going to Whole Foods, want me to pick you up anything?
“You don’t know how many times I had to swipe left to find you!”
69 miles away, huh? Well that’s ironic…
Violets are Blue,
Sit on my face and I’ll eat my way to your heart.
If your heart was jail, I would beg to be sentenced for life.
If I were an NES cartridge would you blow me?
You’re not a vegan, are you? Because I’d love to meat you.
I just lost my favorite teddy bear, can I sleep with you?
Hey honey, wanna twerk for me?
Hi…Has anyone ever told you that your eyes are the clearest blue just like the ocean? Cuz I an see right into your heart and soul.
I hope you’ve got a pencil because I just want to erase your past and write our future together.
Do you ever just lie down at night, look up at the stars and think about all the messed up things in the world? Like why is there a ‘D’ in ‘fridge’ but no ‘D’ in ‘refrigerator’?
Can you tell me how Heaven was when you last left?
If I were a watermelon, would you spit or swallow my seeds?
Hey…Are your from McDonalds because I’m seriously just loving it.