In my office, ‘I.R.S.’ stands for ‘I’m really S#xy.
This was just a sale-leaseback.
Are you from accounting? Because I was ac-counting on seeing you later.
After filing today, I learned I have quite a strong flexible spending account. Are you flexible?
After I’m done with your A$$ets you’ll have to test for impairment
The only thing dirtier than those dishes is how much I want to — oh, wait, no, those are really dirty.
Best Tax Day Pick Up Lines
Baby, I wanna liquidate your A$$ets.
Baby, your not just another journal entry, you balance my books.
Can I be your external control?
Can I put my substance all over your form?
Do you have any obligations for tonight? BC I’d love to take you home and we can retire those A$$ets.
Don’t you try to claim an exemption, I saw you staring at me across the room.
Girl: you meet all my criteria, so you better believe I am going to capitalize.
Girl: you should’ve listed me as a deduction, cuz I am dependent on your love.
Girl: are you a tax accountant? Cus you make file for an extension
Girl: Is that a highlighter in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
Guy: No its a highlighter…..I use Becker wanna get naked?
Guy: “Hey girl! What say we go back to your place and I Audit your A$$ets?
Girl: “But you barely even know me”
Guy: “Thats right Girl… Benefits while maintaining Independence
Guy: Your feet tired? Because you’ve been running in a straight line in my mind all day along.
Girl: I’m a MACRS 150 kind of girl, sorry.
Hey babe, what do ya say we go back to my cubicle and fondle each other’s PBCs.
Hey beautiful, did you know that S#x toys are deductible this year?
Hey girl, do you want to make a double entry in my ledger account if you know what I mean.
Hey girl, if I was an accountant, then you just accrued my love.
Hey, how bout you increase your charitable contributions by handing me your digits?
How ’bout we do it double entry
I can show you exactly how to earn your income tax credit.
I can’t prove feasibility in this relationship. I have to write you off.
I don’t care if you’re rich or poor because I will make your cash flow.
I have incredibly liquid A$$ets right now, and they’re dying to get a good return.
I know I’m not a 99 or even an 85. I’m a 75, will you take me for who I am?
I like to delay my score release so you can enjoy some tension.
I should recognize you as a capital lease because I will own you at the end of the day.
I think we should swap some liquid A$$ets.
I’d do just about anything to see your GAAP.
I’d love to amortize your discount on bonds payable.
I’ll have to credit you for my A$$et depletion
I’ll show you my “bits” if you promise not to “byte”.
You’ve got a lovely pair of W-2’s.
You’ve got great plan A$$ets, but too many service costs.
You’ve impaired my goodwill.
Let’s fill out a 1040 — you’re a 10, and I’m 40.
Your hot A$$ets are making me want to form a partnership
Your net return should include a discount for your face.
Are you 1040EZ? Cause need to fill you in
I’ll show you my corpus if you show me yours!
I’m done being a sole proprietor, let’s form a partnership
I’m gonna have to make some adjustments to your bottom line
I’m not ready for this projected benefit obligation.
I’ve been in public practice for several years, and that’s easily the largest endowment I’ve ever seen.
I’ve got an option I’d like to exercise on those plan A$$ets.
If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I near ENron so we could take it down together.
If I had you, I wouldn’t need to perform so many manual entries
If I had you, I wouldn’t need to use my Handbook.
If I help you screw Uncle Sam, can I be next?
In my office, “I.R.S.” stands for ‘I’m really S#xy.’
Is __(name of whatever she’s drinking) the material weakness in your internal control?
Lady, you make my pants file for an extension.
Let me tell you somethin: if you’re filing with me? You’re definitely filing a…’10-40.’
Let’s fill out a 1040 — you’re a 10, and I’m 40.
Lets try and make this triple bottom line.
Listen honey, being with me is so good it’s taxable.
Listen I don’t know what the hell an S corporation is, but I know I want to buy you a drink.
Listen, I’ve been auditing your body all night, and it is in damn fine standing.
My goodwill may be intangible, but my fixed A$$ets are rock solid.
My Trial Balance just won’t balance without you
Normally I am strictly IFRS but for you I’d switch to GAAP because you are extraordinary
Please baby, let me withhold you.
Please, baby, let me withhold you.
Rest A$$ured, I have a large enough staff for adequate coverage.
So do you file electronically around here often?
So, how do you feel about things in arrears?
Take me home tonight, and I guarantee you’ll see an extraordinary item.
Technically, having S#x with me is a charitable gift.
The moment I found you, my depreciation method changed from a double declining to a 150% declining balance
This inquiry has been nice, but I’d like to do a walk through of your operations.
Trust me, I’m an accountant, I know how to manipulate firm A$$ets
Wanna sneak out behind the ‘hedge’ and play with my financial instrument?
What do you say we go back to my place for some agreed upon procedures?
What do you say we spend the rest of our useful lives together?
While some of your A$$ets are obviously not impaired, I’m afraid your major A$$et will turn out to be immaterial.
Why don’t we go back to my place, and I’ll let you audit my staff.
You know, I’ve gained quite a lot of interest from certain parties this last year. Just sayin.
You know, my return this year was huge…like, huuuuge.
You’re enS#xled to a $1,000 tax break on your municipal bond income…now let’s do it.
You’re the kind of girl I could take home to mother – which is good, since I still live with her.
Are your A$$ets temporarily or permanently restricted? BC I’d spare no expense to unrestrict them
Baby girl, I saw you talking to that guy over there. Don’t. There’s a going concern that he has significant control deficiencies.
Baby how bout we leave this McDonald’s and get started on that additional child tax credit?
Baby if I take you home? It’s an experience you ain’t gonna be writing off anytime soon.
Listen, I’d love to sleep with you, but it’s tax day and I feel like I’ve already been screwed by an entire government agency.
I’ll let you audit my A$$ets if you let me audit yours. You’ll be pleasantly surprised to see what’s in my books.
Your fast A$$et made me deposit my capital contribution early, I hope you have some mitigating controls in place! Yeah, I have a virtually non-existent control environment…I’d recommend accruing for a contingent liability
About Annie Rosy
Annie is a writer who likes to focus on funny pick up lines. She enjoys making people laugh and feel good, and thinks that using a clever line can be the perfect way to start a conversation. When she's not writing, Annie loves spending time with her friends and family. She's always up for trying new things, and is always looking for ways to make life more fun.
