Man your friend looks incredible! Can I have her number just in case things don’t work out with you tonight?
Hi, my mom calls me sweetie but you can call me John.
Do you have an inhaler? Her: Why/What? You: Well you took my breath away.
Spill a drink on someone and say, “Let’s get you out of those wet clothes…at my place.”
I wore my best clothes tonight and you still haven’t introduced yourself, huh!?
Your eyes are all red, my favorite color.
My sister warned me about girls that wear (comment on something she’s wearing).
Asians float my boat.
I can be your bodyguard……if you call me Al (hat tip to Paul Simon)
I was thinking of using a stupid chat up line to try and talk to you, but then I thought better, I’d use an awesome one……..Hi!
Is that your sister? She has really big ta-ta’s for a fourteen-year old.
Do you ever record your farts?
(For high-school kids) Do you ever ditch school?
There’s a bed in my van.
Beer can be a real miracle drug. I couldn’t control my herpes without it.
I bet you’re not in the phone book, but I’m sure I’ll find you in a dictionary under “fine”!
What would you rate my butt on a scale of 1 to…….awesome.
Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
My feet smell like Doritos.
Today is my birthday, I expect presents.
I live with my mom, but she doesn’t care when my other friends come over to play naked Super Saiyan. Lights out by 9 and we must be asleep by 9:30.”
It’s funny, you weren’t too cute when I walked in but the more I’ve had to drink, the cuter you’ve gotten.
(hand her your phone) Her: Why are you giving me your phone? You: Gosh you’re stupid. You’re supposed to put you phone number in it!
My girlfriend is going to be really pissed I met you!
Are your nipples pierced?
I’m glad we’re going out. I got eight kids at home that need a new mama.
Should I trust you? Her: Yes/No/Maybe/What? You: Well can I trust you to love me forever.
(Man to woman) What’s your favorite color? (Reply) Mine’s BØØBs!
(To a woman) I’m biS#xual.
How much?Do you sleep naked?
Can I warm my hands in your hot breasts?
You’re ugly, but you interest me.
Are you a ho? Because I have money, B!t¢h.
Screw me if I don’t get this right, but is your name Jenny.
Do you have a boyfriend? Because if you do, then you need to be discreet.
I can’t believe today is our anniversary. Her: What? You: Well it’s today, the day we first met, but you don’t celebrate your anniversary till the following year.
I’m so glad you agreed to go out with me. I just started using Viagra, and I’ve been wanting to see how well it works.
You’re ugly, but you interest me.
Wanting to kiss you reminds me of diarrhea, I can’t do anything to stop it.
Hey baby, wanna arm wrestle? Her: No! You: That’s cool, I’ll settle for a kiss!
I have an “owie” on my _(body part)__. Will you kiss it and make it better?
Dam girl you put the hot in shots, wanna go get a shot?
Wow, you’re eyes are beautiful! Can I buy one!
Do you want me to cry? You: Then don’t say no when I ask you on a date.</span
Today is my birthday, I expect kisses.
My Mommy says I shouldn’t talk to strangers, but I’ve always been bad at following rules.
You better be a doctor because you just broke my heart.
Are you going out with me, or do I have to stalk you?
For a fat chick, you sure have small S#xs.
I’m very religious and have been praying to god to meet a hot girl, finally he answered my prayers.