Funny and Clever Pick Up Lines for Guys and Girls

by Maria Line

It must be a day off in heaven for an angel like you to be amongst us.
Would buy you a drink but I would be jealous of the glA$$.
Your eyes are as blue as my toilet water at home.
I dropped a tear in the ocean, the day I find it is the day I’ll stop loving you.
Excuse me, is that your perfume that you are wearing?
Is there an airport nearby or is that my heart taking off?
Do you have room in your life for another friend?
Funny and Clever Pick Up Lines for Guys and Girls
Funny and Clever Pick Up Lines for Guys and Girls
Hey, don’t I know you? Yeah, you’re the girl/guy with the beautiful smile.
Hi. Are you cute?
I envy your lipstick.
It must be dark outside. ‘Cause all the sunshine in the world is right here.
I have a cat. She would really like to meet you.
Does your watch have a second hand? I want to know how long it took for me to fall in love with you.
If you were a booger I’d pick you first.
You look just like my mother.
If beauty were time, you’d be an eternity.
What’s a nice girl like you doing talking to a loser like me?
Excuse me, I’d like to have kids someday, and I wanted to know how your parents created such a beautiful creature.
What is your favorite color? (Answer) Mine too!
Excuse me, I think you have something in your eye. Nope, it’s just a sparkle.
I never thought that heaven would be so close to me”
Great choice of clothes, they match the trim in the Jag
You make me melt like hot fudge on a sundae.
What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room?
Many people will walk in and out of your life. But only lovers will leave a footprint on your heart. And you my dear have left one great leap on mine!
Excuse me, I don’t want you to think I’m ridiculous or anything, but you are the most gorgeous girl/guy I have ever seen. I just felt like I had to tell you.
Hi, I’m Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.
What’s the name of your perfume? “Catch of the Day?
Hi, I’m Batman. Wanna see my batmobile?
If I could be anything I’d be a tear: Born in your eye, live on your cheek, and die at your lips.
Are you a parking ticket? (What?) You got fine written all over you.
Did you have Campbell’s soup today? (she answers yes/no) Because you’re lookin’ mmm… mmm… good!
I’ve been noticing you not noticing me.
You look beautiful today, just like every other day.
You are so beautiful that I would marry your brother just to get into your family.
What’s your sign?
Champaign can be tickly, and so can I.
You are like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts.
Is there a rainbow today? I just found the treasure I’ve been searching for!
Baby, you’re the next contestant in the game of love.
Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.
Ever since I met you, you’ve lived in my heart without paying any rent.
You Say: Looks like we’re late.” She Says: “For what?” You Say: “For dinner. Your choice this time, I’m buying.”
Damn, if being S#xy was a crime, you’d be guilty as charged!
Coffee? Tea? Me?
As she’s leaving….Hey aren’t you forgetting something? She: What? Me!
I think you’ve got something in your eye. Oh never mind, it’s just a sparkle.
What would you do if I kissed you right now?
Hey, don’t frown – you’ll never know who might be falling in love with your smile.
You’re so hot you would make the devil sweat.
Hello. Are you taking any applications for a boy/girlfriend?
(While looking at stars) Baby, I didn’t see any stars in the sky tonight, the most heavenly body was sitting right next to me.
You are not a woman, you are an essence
My name is {name}. I’m running for president in 2012. And I could sure use your vote. Here…write down your number and I’ll call you to discuss my platform.
Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?
Who’s your daddy?
You look like the type of girl who has heard every line in the book … So what’s one more??
Baby, somebody better call God, cuz he’s missing an angel!
Is your daddy a thief? [“No.”] Then how did he steal the sparkle of the stars and put it in your eyes? [Be ready with a snappy answer in case they say “yes.”]
If beauty were sunlight, you’d shine from a million light-years away.
You must be going to hell cause it must be a sin to look that good.
I play the field, and it looks like I just hit a home run with you.
Excuse me, but did you happen to find my Nobel Peace Prize?
When I saw you from across the room, I pA$$ed out cold and hit my head on the floor…so I’m going to need your name and number for insurance reasons.
Why do you have to be so damn fine every single day? Can’t you take a break and let me concentrate on something else for a change?
What’s a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?
You’re hotter than a Bunsen burner set to full power!
Baby did you fart, ’cause you blow me away!
He: You look like my third wife. She: Oh, how many time have you been married? He: Twice.
You are the hottest thing since sunburn.
If beauty were a grain of sand, you’d be a million beaches.
Oh no, I’m choking! I need mouth to mouth, quick!
Excuse me miss? You dropped something back there? (As you look around you ask “where”) Over there! (Ask again: “What did I drop?”) He answers back: My jaw!
Excuse me miss… Do you have a cigarette? Actually, I don’t want one, I just wanted to start a conversation with you.
When God made you, he was showing off.
Your daddy must be a terrorist, because baby- you da bomb!
It’s not my fault I fell in love. You are the one that tripped me.
A song from your lips is an aria from heaven.
If you were a library book, I would check you out.
You MUST have a nice personality.
What time do you have to be back in heaven?
There aren’t enough “O”‘s in the word “smooth” to describe how smooth you are.
Pull my finger.
Got me? I’ll do your body good.
Nice to meet you, I’m (your name) and you are…gorgeous!
You’ve been a bad girl/boy. Go to my room.
You see my friend over there? [Point to friend who sheepishly waves from afar] He wants to know if YOU think I’M cute.
Oh my god, I thought I was gay… then I met you.
Don’t you know me from somewhere?
You know what? Your eyes are the same color as my Porsche.
Please don’t go or else I will have to make a report to the cops….u stole my heart
I think I must be dying because I’m looking at Heaven.
Do you know karate? ‘Cause your body is really kickin’.
Excuse me miss, I don’t mean to stare, but um I think you’re really Beautiful”
Really like your peaches and I wanna shake your tree.
No, but how about a kiss anyway?
You know the more I drink, the prettier you get!
You’re like a dictionary – you add meaning to my life!
I’ve gotta thirst, baby, and you smell like my Gatorade.
Your eyes have touched my soul
It’s always good for you to see me again.
Guy: What’s your name? Girl: Danielle Guy: Oh… I thought it was Aphrodite.
If you were a chicken, you’d be impeccable.
Do you have the time? [Gives the time] No, the time to write down my number?
What’s that on your face? Oh, must just be beauty. Here, let me get it off. Hey, it’s not coming off!
I think my medication is wearing off.
I’m feeling kind of insecure right now. Could I have a hug?
You are a beautiful girl, you have probably heard all the great pick up lines, so why don’t you just tell me the ones that worked so we can get past all that….?”
Man, you sure are bright girl! Were you raised by the stars?
I’m looking for a friend…do you want to be my friend?
Oooh, you’re lookin’ fine. Not in the good way, in the “you’ll do” way.
Hey, how did you do that? Look so good?
Excuse me, you look so good, I could put you on a plate and sop you up with a biscuit!
If you know a person’s name: “Hi, [name].” How did you know my name? “Isn’t every beautiful girl named that?”
What sort of person are you looking? Wait- don’t tell me: medium height, blue eyes, etc…
You remind me of a magnet, because you sure are attracting me over here!
Guy: Can I see your hand? (he draws a little river then a bunny on one side and says he can’t get to the other side because he will go glub glub glub.) Gal: What was the point of that? Guy : Just wanted an excuse to hold your hand.
I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for If you were a new hamburger at McDonald’s, you would be McGorgeous.
Does my breath smell okay?
You’re ugly but you intrigue me.
All this could be yours for one low, low price!
Baby, if you were words on a page, you’d be what they call fine print
Man: “Girl, you are so rude!” Girl: “How am I being rude?” Man: “Because you’re looking so fine and not telling me you’re name.”
Say, didn’t we go to different schools together?
[Look at his/her shirt label. When they say, “What are you doing?”, say “Checking to see if you were made in heaven.”
I tried to find the perfect line to make you mine, sweetheart, but after searching all I could come up with was this look in my eyes and your hand in mine, and the words, will you be mine?
I’m addicted to yes, and I’m allergic to no. So what’s it gonna be?
Can I get your picture to prove to all my friends that angels really do exist?
The only thing your eyes haven’t told me about you is your name.
You are so sweet…I’m getting a toothache just looking at you…
Turn to the girl sitting next to you at the bar and say, “I’m not really this tall….I’m sitting on my wallet.”
Man: excuse me did you just feel my A$$? Girl: no you: why not?
Does Levi’s pay you for wearing those and looking that good?
Cupid called. He says to tell you that he needs my heart back.
Hey, Laura! (Big hug). I haven’t seen you forEVER!! (huge kiss) Wow, you’ve really changed! (I’m not Laura) What? Oh my God, you even changed your name.
(Close hand with nothing inside and give it to her) It’s my breath from when you took it away (open palm while saying this).
That’s a nice watch [Thank you] Actually, that’s a nice dress. [Again, thank you] Come to think of it, everything is nice on you.
Hello, I’m a thief, and I’m here to steal your heart.
Woman, I hate to see you go, but I LOVE watching you leave….
My name isn’t Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime you want to.
When you look into the mirror holding up a dozen roses, you see the 13 most beautiful things in the world
If you were ice cream and I were hot chocolate I’d pour all my love onto you.
Hi, I’m a fashion photographer. Would you like to be in my next photo shoot?
Hey, somebody farted. Let’s get out of here.
Is your name Gillette? Because you’re the best a man can get
Was your dad king for a day? He must have been to make a princess(or prince) like you.
If you were a tear in my eye I would not cry for fear of losing you.
Hi, my name’s Right…Mr. Right.
Is that baby oil on your forehead? Cause you shine like an angel.
Ok, I’m here, what do you want for your next wish?
I’m invisible. (Really?) Can you see me? (Yes) How about tomorrow night?
When’s our wedding date?
So, are you going to give me your phone number, or am I going to have to stalk you?
You are a 9.9999. You’d be a perfect 10 if you were with me.
Did the sun come out or did you just smile at My psychiatrist sent me for an MRI because she thinks I have a magnetic personality.
Smile if you want me!.
Baby, you must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet.
Apart from being S#xy, what do you do for a living?
Guy: Did I see u somewhere? Girl: No Guy: Then I must have seen you in my dreams! (works every time)
Was you Father an Alien? Cos honey on planet earth there’s nothing else like you!
I have only three months to live.
It’s my birthday! How about a birthday kiss? [Is it really your birthday?]
Good evening. May a thorn sit down amongst the roses?
Your dad must have been retarded, ‘cuz you are special.
Shall we talk or continue flirting from a distance?
When I look into your eyes, it is like a gateway into the world of which I want to be a part.
I must be lost. I thought paradise was further south.
Walk up and say, “Yes?” “What?” “Oh, my friend told me that you wanted to make out with me because I’m the finest thing you have seen all night.”
You are so beautiful that you give the sun a reason to shine.
Don’t walk into that building — the sprinklers might go off!
I suffer from amnesia. Do I come here often?
I must be in heaven because I’m standing next to you!
I don’t know you, but I think I love you already.
Walk up to a guy/girl hold up a $100 (or more if you’re desperate) dollar bill and rip it in half in front of his/her face write your phone number on half of it and hand it to them. Then say, “how about you call me tomorrow and we’ll figure out a way to spend this money?”
Baby, you’re so sweet, you put Hershey’s outta business.
Man: “Would you like to dance?” Woman:(looks at you up and down) “No thank you.” Man: “Sorry, you must’ve misunderstood me. I said: “you look fat in those pants!”
If God made anything more pretty, I’m sure he’d keep it for himself.
I saw you, I had an asthma attack because you took my breath away!
Hey, I lost my phone number … Can I have yours?
Grab them in the butt and ask, “Pardon me, is this seat taken?”
Hey, haven’t I seen you before? I remember, it was in my dreams!
Hey, come here often? You could, with me.
Can I have directions? [“To where?”] To your heart.
If you were a laser, you’d be set on “stunning”.
You know, you might be asked to leave soon. You’re making the other women look really bad.
Good news, the test results are negative!
(Walk over to her)”Ok, you can stand next to me, as long as you don’t talk about it.”
You look like a big glA$$ of water and I sure am thirsty!
You’ve got to refer me to your plastic surgeon.
Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
What is your first name? Hmm, that goes kinda well with my last name. (switch if female asking a male)
When I marry I wonder if God will be mad that I stole one of his angels.
Ask a woman for the time. “10:30? So today is January 10,1999, at 10:30 PM, thanks I just wanted to be able to remember the exact moment that I met you.”
May I have the distinguished honor and privilege of sitting next to you?
I think I feel like Richard Gere – I’m standing next to you, the Pretty Woman.
You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
If a star fell for every time I thought of you, the sky would be empty.
Can I domesticate you?
I must be a snowflake, ‘cuz I’ve fallen for you.
Are you a tamale? ‘Cause you’re hot.
You remind me of a pop tart. (Why?) You’re cool cause you’re hot!
If water were beauty you’d be the ocean.
Your earrings are the mirrors which reflect the moonlight into your eyes
I’ve seen till I gazed into your eyes

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