[Top 100] Cheesy Pick Up Lines So Funny You’re Guaranteed to Laugh
by Maria Line
If you were a booger I’d pick you first.
You must work at Subway, ’cause you just gave me a footlong.
You are the most interesting piece of A$$ i’ve talked to all evening.
I’d like to kiss you pA$$ionately on the lips, then move up to your belly button.
Give me three good reasons why I shouldn’t buy you a drink.
Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?
You say “Do you want to do a 68?” she says “What’s that?” you say “You go down, and I’ll owe you one.”
If I am peter pan you’d be my happy thought!
My magical watch says you aren’t wearing any panties. Oh, you are? It must be an hour fast!
I’m going outside to make out… care to join me?
Do you believe in the hereafter? Well, then I guess you know what I’m here after.
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?
“Do you want to go to breakfast?” (Sure) “Should I call you, or nudge you?”
Pick up a pack of sugar that actually says, “sugar” on it… then say “You dropped your nametag!”
Can you kiss me on the cheek so I can at least say a cute girl kissed me tonight?
If I received a nickel for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I’d have five cents.
I may not have gotten your virginity, but can I at least have the box it came in?
Mind if i stand here until it’s safe where i farted
I have a six inch tongue and I can breath through my ears.
Whoa, you just gave me the hardest semi I have ever had.
Do you like to dance? Well then, could you go dance so I can talk to your friend?
What’s your name? Where you from? Do you plan on giving me some?
Love ain’t nothin’ but S#x misspelled.
How about you come sit on my lap and we talk about the first thing that “pops” up!
Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under.
When I’m older looking back at all of my finest memories, and I’ll think of the day my children were born, the day I got married, and the day that I met you.
Nice shoes, wanna f**k?
Come on sweetheart, why don’t you just let me put the head in… – what a clA$$ic
You say “You look just like my first wife” She says “How many times have you been married?” You say “never”.
I’ll cook you dinner if you cook me breakfast.
Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by you again?
Do you have any raisins? How about a date?
You know, you might be asked to leave soon. You’re making the other women look really bad.
The only thing your eyes haven’t told me is your name.
I’m going to have S#x with you tonight, so… you might as well be there.
Hey baby, is that a keg in your pants? ‘Cause I would like to tap that A$$!
Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?
You say “I’m sorry, but you owe me a drink” She says “Why?” You say “Because I dropped mine when I looked at you”
Why do you have to be so damn fine every single day? Can’t you take a break and let me concentrate on something else for a change?
You’re like a prize winning fish… I dont know whether to eat you or mount you.
My boys over there bet that I wouldn’t be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful girl in the room. Want to buy some drinks with their money?
“I want to tell you your fortune.” Take her hand and write your phone number on it. “There’s your future.”
Your skin is so creamy I bet you never even had a zit on your A$$.
If I had a garden I’d put your two lips and my two lips together.
Wanna go halves on a bast@rd??? (Non-serious)
If you’re going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon.
If your left leg is Thanksgiving, and your right leg is Christmas, can I visit you between the holidays?
Why don’t you get down on your knees and smile like a doughnut?
I’ve got some Skittles in my mouth… wanna taste the rainbow?
When God made you, he was showing off.
You make Paris Hilton look like a teletubbie.
Why don’t you come over here, sit on my lap and we’ll talk about the first thing that pops up?
I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I’m the only one talking to you
Do you know the difference between my peπ!s and a chicken leg? Well, let’s go on a picnic and find out!
Do you like Bacon? Wanna strip?
First buy an ice cream and find a hot girl, then say “I’m sorry to bother you, but your melting my ice cream!”
I’ve had quite a bit to drink, and you’re beginning to look pretty good.
If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I would be walking through my garden forever.
Your dad must not have a peπ!s. He’s got a paintbrush!
I bet you $20 you’re gonna turn me down.
I’m not actually this tall, I’ve got this bad habit of sitting on my wallet.
Let’s go to my place and do the things I’ll tell everyone we did anyway.
You must wash your clothes with windex… because I can see myself in your pants!
How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice- can I get your number?
Excuse me. Do you want to f**k or should I apologize?
Excuse me, is your name Gillette? cause you’re the best a man can get
Do you remember when you were a little kid and you wanted a toy really bad when you went to the store, but your mom wouldn’t let you get it, no matter how much you begged?? Well that’s how I feel about you.
Hey beautiful…that is your name right?
Your place or mine? Tell you what? I’ll flip a coin. Head at my place, tail at yours.
What do you say we go back to my crib and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.
The word of the day is legs. Let’s go back to my crib and spread the word.
If I had a nickel for every time I saw a girl as beautiful as you I’d have about… 5 cents.
If you stood in front of a mirror and help up 11 roses, you would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world.
Will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into that cheap motel room.
What smiles, winks, is hung like a horse, and can last all night long? (smile and wink)
S#x is like Pringles: once you pop, you can’t stop.
“Fat penguin” (What!?) “I just wanted to say something that would break the ice.”
Want to make a P0®no? We don’t have to tape it.
If I were a fly, I’d be all over you, because you’re the $h!t!
Love is a sensation, caused by a temptation, to feel penetration. a guy sticks his location in a girl’s destination, to increase the population for the next generation, did you get my explanation, or do you need a demonstration?
If you were a new sandwich at McDonalds, you’d be called the McGorgeous.
Inheriting eighty million bucks doesn’t mean much when you have a weak heart.
I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours?
I’m just a love pirate lookin’ for some b00ty.
Do you know the essential difference between S#x and conversation? No? Want to go upstairs and talk?
What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room?
Can I even get a fake number?
Life is like a D!¢K. When it gets hard, “f**k it.
Go up to a girl and say “Hi! My name is Haywood Jablomee”
It’s not my fault I fell in love, you’re the one who tripped me!
I bet I can kiss you on the lips without touching you.