Are you the sun? Because every time I look at you, my eyes burn.
Are you from Europe? Because Euro piece of sh*t.
Do you like wine? Because thats all your doing.
Are you a banker because you need to leave me a loan
You remind me of my Asian friend: Ug Lee
Are you Israeli? Because you Israeli hot
You have something on your face, it’s called ugly.
Do you want some sun? Cause you’re shady as f*ck
Ain’t nobody trying to domesticate ya !
Your not getting my spleen today, you bast@rd.
I was like, ‘wait a sec, isnt that a complim- ooohhh.’
In a perfectly emotionless voice so they can’t tell exactly how you’re meaning it.
Add on a Southern drawl to it and you wouldn’t even know someone just insulted you.
From what I’ve heard of the Southern stereotype, isn’t that the whole point of the accent?
“Bless your heart” may sound sincere, but it’s never a compliment from a southerner. Southern women (with the Texas drawl anyway) sound so nice you’d never notice though.
It’s getting hot in here, so why don’t you just take off.
Damn girl are you from Tennessee? Because you have horrible teeth and don’t look like a proficient reader
More like, “Because if you were any more inbred, you would be a sandwich.”
everyone from the south thinks its one of the “other” southern states…
Come to England, where everyone from the next town over is inbred.
“Hi, my Name is George. I’m unemployed, and live with my parents”
Girl, you’re a ten….on the PH scale, ’cause you basic.
From 1-10, you’re about a 13…on the Richter scale
With that I’d go with 6 or 7 to systematically break her self esteem.
1000 times hotter than a 10? Daaaamn.
What this “basic” thing I keep hearing about when young people talk about girls?
Has anybody ever told you how beautiful my eyes are?
Not even a sniper would take you out.
You 360-noscoped me right in my heart.
On a totally opposite note, one of my favourite valentine’s is a sniper joke: “I only miss you.”
Not even a Hitman would hit on you.
ou could always take the chair and set it at some one elses table and go back… or take the chair and set it next to some other woman and start talking.
I may not be the best looking guy here but hey I’m the only one talking to you.
If you’re still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.
My ex said I couldn’t do better than them. Want to prove them right?
HEY GURL. Are you the sun? You need to stay about 93 million miles away from me.
Hey Denise, you look pretty! What? I said you look $h!tty! Have a good night!
Uh, my name is Dave and, uh… I like to party.
s your Dad in prison? If I was your Dad I would be in prison.
How you would you like to be incredibly disappointed later?
Did you fart? What? Cause you blew me away.
My love for you is like loose motions, I just can’t hold it in!
I like my women how I like my stool: loose, chunky and black.
Hey girl, you look like you haven’t been disappointed in awhile… 😉
It’s actually worked a surprising number of times!
Do you have pet insurance? Because I’m gonna smash that pu$$y.
Coincidentally, she’s also 12 years old and in the cellar.
She’s wonderful. I’d have no one to make awful jokes with at home otherwise.
Did you fall from heaven? Those stripper wings and halos don’t belong on you.
“Hey baby, are you an angel? Because I’m allergic to feathers. (throws up on floor)
“Do you have chlamydia?” “No” “You want it?”
“Hey do you like jalapenos? Cause I’m gonna be jalapeno pu$$y later.”
Wow, you’re so pretty. Your dad must have touched you all the time!
Hey gurl, you looking for a stud? Cause I’ve got the STD, all I need is U.
This is useful because im philophobic so I dont intend on ever getting a boyfriend.
“Can I buy you a drink?”! “You look like I can use a drink”.
“Are you a thief? Because you stole my heart away”!“Are you a door to door salesman? Because I am not interested.”
Your eyes are like the ocean. So blue and deep.”!“Your eyes are like the stars, dim and far apart.”
“Haven’t I seen you someplace before?”!“Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.”
“What are you doing on Friday?”!“Not you.”
“I am a photographer and I’ve been looking for a face like yours.”!“I am a plastic surgeon and I’ve been looking for a face like yours.”
“Hey. Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice?”!“Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.”
“Did it hurt?”!“When you blew through the asphalt, emerging from hell?”
“If I could rearrange the letters I would put U and I together.”!“Oh really? If I could rearrange the letters I would put F and U together.”
“You must be tired because you’ve been running through my mind all day.”“Yeah. That’s because you look like a rapist.”
Your not getting my spleen today, you bast@rd
About Annie Rosy
Annie is a writer who likes to focus on funny pick up lines. She enjoys making people laugh and feel good, and thinks that using a clever line can be the perfect way to start a conversation. When she's not writing, Annie loves spending time with her friends and family. She's always up for trying new things, and is always looking for ways to make life more fun.
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