[Top 60+] Bald Head Jokes and Hairline Humour To Roast a Bald Guy!

[Top 60+] Bald Head Jokes and Hairline Humour To Roast a Bald Guy! 1

What kind of hair do oceans have? Wavy
Your so bald, I can see what your thinking.
You’re so bald, I can see whats on your mind.
I want a hair cut please. Certainly, which one!
What do you call a pen with no hair? A bald point
What side of a monster has more hair? The outside!
What do you call a proton with big hair? A froton.
How can you avoid falling hair? Get out of the way.
What’s your dad getting for Christmas? Bald and fat.
Who never gets his hair wet in the shower? A bald man.
You’re so bald, you look like a corn dog with eyebrows.
You’re so bald, I rub your head to see into the future.
How does a barber make phone calls? He cuts them short.
Why did the bald man go outside? To get some fresh hair!
What do you call a high-priced barber shop? A clip joint.
What do you call a policeman with blonde hair? A fair cop!
Knock Knock Who’s there! Barber! Barber who? Barberd wire!
Your head is sooooo bald I mistook you for a green rabbit.
You’re so bald, when you take a shower you get brainwashed.
For what person do all men take off their hats? The barber.
Are you really that bald or is your neck just blowing a bubble?
Why was the lady’s hair angry? Because she was always teasing it.
What should you buy if your hair falls out? A good vacuum cleaner!
Is that your face or are you wearing your hair back to front today?
Man, your hairline is so far back, archaeologists couldn’t find it.
What’s a barber’s favourite kind of holiday? Cruising on a clipper.
You know you’re going bald when you use more toothpaste than shampoo.
I had a dream you were a tire last night. I woke up and you were bald.
Why do barbers make good drivers? Because they know all the short cuts.
What do you get if you cross a wireless with a hairdresser? Radio waves!
Why do bald-headed men never use keys? Because they’ve lost their locks.
What do you call a group of rabbits hopping backwards?A receding hairline.
You’re so bald, that when you wear a poncho, you look like a broken condom.
“I thought so,” said Janet. “I wondered why I couldn’t get my hat off today.”
You’re so bald, when you wear a turtle neck, you look like roll on deodorant!
Why do polo bears like bald men? Because they have a great, white, bear place!
When can you dive in a swimming pool and not get your hair wet? When your bald!
Customer: Why doesn’t my hairline look good? Barber: It’s on the same old head.
Customer: Why is my hairline receding? Barber: It’s not. Your scalp is advancing.
Teacher: I see you don’t cut your hair any longer. Fred: No sir, I cut it shorter.
What do you get if you cross a hairdresser and a bucket of cement? Permanent waves!
Look at that bald man over there. It’s the first time I’ve seen a parting with ears.
Customer: Why did you take off so much hair? Barber: I didn’t, nature beat me to it.
Why did the bald man put a rabbit on his head? Because he wanted a head of hare (hair)
Why does a barber never shave a man with a wooden leg? Because he always uses a razor.
Barber: Your hair is getting grey, Sir. Customer: I’m not surprised – hurry up, will you?
Fred: Betty has lovely long red hair all down her back. Harry: Pity it’s not on her head!
If the Pilgrims came over on the Mayflower, how did the barbers arrive? On clipper ships.
What do you get if you cross a hairdresser with a werewolf? A monster with an all-over perm.
Why do bald men have holes in their pockets?So they can run their fingers through their hair.
Customer: Couldn’t you see I was going bald? Barber: No, the shine from your head blinded me.
I’m not saying my friend’s losing his hair, but lice are starting to picket about deforestation.
I first realized I was going bald when it started taking longer and longer for me to wash my face.
Doctor, Doctor my hair keeps falling out, can you give me anything to keep it in? Yes, here is a paper bag!
My barber is a specialist in road map shaves. How come? When he’s finished, your face is full of short cuts.
What do you call an English teacher, five feet tall, covered from head to toe in boils and totally bald? Sir!
First boy: My dad saw a horrible witch and didn’t turn a hair! Second boy: I’m not surprised – your dad’s bald!
How much for a haircut? Barber: Fifteen dollars. How much for a shave? Barber: Ten dollars. Right – shave my head.
Karen: Have you noticed that Daddy is getting taller? Sharon: No, why? Karen: His head is sticking through his hair.
Barber: Were you wearing a red scarf when you came in? Customer: No. Barber: Oh dear! Then I must have cut your throat.
America’s oldest lady was 115 years old today, and she hasn’t got a grey hair on her head. How come? She’s completely bald.
A punk walked into a barber’s shop and sat in an empty chair. “Haircut, sir?” asked the barber. “No, just change the oil, please!”
Janet came home from school and asked her mother if the aerosol spray in the kitchen was hair lacquer. “No,” said Mom. “It’s glue.”
Barber: And how old are you, little man? Fred: Eight. Barber: And do you want a haircut? Fred: Well, I certainly didn’t come in for a shave!