[Top30] Jewish Pick Up Lines

[Top30] Jewish Pick Up Lines 1

You had me at Shalom.
I finally understand the true meaning of the Sabbath. It’s to give a girl like you a rest from running
through my mind the rest of the week.
Can I put out your burning bush?
Do you want something to attone for on yom kippur?
Is your Succah kosher? Cause the only stars I can see are in your eyes.
I would love to wonder in your wilderness for 40 years.
Once you go Jew, nothing else will do.
Do you want to shake my luluv?
If I raise my staff will it only part the sea?
God told us to go forth and multiply and I feel something going forth and multiplying as we speak.
I may not be elisha but will you open the door anyway.
You must not be kosher for pA$$over because you’re makeing my matza rise.
Lets do it adam and eve style, behind some bushes.
Do you want to try my hebrew national hotdog?
Do you wanna spin my dreidel?
Can I come into your mA$$ada?
Which commandment do you want to break?
Want to party in my sukkah?
Are you Jewish? Cause the way you’re looking at me, I’m beginning to think Jewish I would kiss you.
Why is this night different than all other nights? I’ll show you why…
Do you want to try for 9 crazy nights?
My apples are just dying for your honey!
Don’t worry I won’t pA$$over you.
I’ll take you to the promised land.
Can I go into you garden of Eden?
Can I light your manorah?
Are you the mA$$iah, because I’ve been waiting for you.
God just told me there was going to be a flood and I’ve decided to save you.
Are you the milk or the honey I was promised?
That’s a nice-looking yarmulke you’re wearing, but it would look even better lying next to my bed
tomorrow morning.
Got any Jewish in you? Want some?
All I want for Channukah is you.
Let me see your shirt tag, that’s right, made in Eden.
The first line of the Shma commands us to “Love the Lord with all your heart.” After meeting you, I
don’t think I can keep that mitzvah.
The gates of repentance are always open…just like my heart for you.
I don’t care what the Torah says, I’m not leaving any of your four corners unplowed.
After getting lost for 40 years I’ve think I’ve finally found what I was looking for
Girl, I wish you were a torah, so I could undress you and run my yad all up and down your columns…
Funny, I don’t remember climbing Jacob’s ladder, so how did I end up in heaven?
How bout I play moses and u play with my staff.
Unlike the torah, I’m gonna put my hands all over you.
Did it hurt when you wrestled with Jacob (because you’re an angel)!
This saltwater reminds me of the tears that came to my eyes when I first saw you
Can I dip my maror in your charoset.
How about you and I make the dead sea come alive.
Even though it’s breaking a commandment, I’m worshipping you right now.
When you come to my house, the Mezuzah isn’t the only thing you will be touching!
Are u bat mitzvahed, cuz I need a woman?
I hope you’re not married, because I’d hate to be breaking the Tenth Commandment right here in shul.
Just like the Ner Tamid, my love for you burns eternal.
A woman like you makes me wish our mechitza were see-through.
In this shul, women are not called up to the torah. May I call you up at home?
A woman like you makes me wish our mechitza were see-through.
After getting lost for 40 years ive think ive finally found what I was looking for
All I want for Channukah is you.
Are those matza balls in your pants or are you just happy to see me?
Are you a torah? ‘Cause I wanna dance with you all night.
Are you bar mitzvahed, cuz I need a woman?
Are you Jewish? Cause the way you’re looking at me, I’m beginning to think Jewish I would kiss you.
Are you Jewish? Cause you israeli hot!
Are you the mA$$iah, beacuse I’ve been waiting for you.
Are you the milk or the honey I was promised?
Baby I’d nail you harder then we nailed Jesus to that cross.
Baby lets run away together, just Jew and Me.
Can I come into your mA$$ada?
Can I dip my maror in your charoset.
Can I go into you garden of Eden?
Can I light your manorah?
Can I put my knife between your lechem mishneh?
Can I put out your burning bush?
Can this maccabee fit inside your canon?
Come shake your tush at tonight’s shabbos tish.
Dang girl, I’d like to bake my rugelach in your oven.
Did it hurt when you wrestled with Jacob (because you’re an angel)!
Do you want something to atone for on yom kippur?
Do you want to make tongith different from all other nights?
Do you want to shake my luluv?
Do you want to spin my dreidel?
Do you want to try for 9 crazy nights?
Do you want to try my hebrew national hotdog?
Don’t worry I won’t pA$$over you.
Even though it’s breaking a commandment, I’m worshipping you right now.
Eye for eye, tooth for tooth, heart for heart. You stole my heart, you owe me yours.
Funny, I don’t remember climbing Jacob’s ladder, so how did I end up in heaven?
Girl, I wish you were a torah, so I could undress you and run my yad all up and down your columns…
God just told me there was going to be a flood and I’ve decided to save you.
God told us to go forth and multiply and I feel something going forth and multiplying as we speak.
Got any Jewish in you? Want some?
Have I seen you on j-date?
How about you and I make the dead sea come alive.
How bout I play moses and u play with my staff
How bout I play moses and u play with my staff.
I don’t care what the Torah says, I’m not leaving any of your four corners unplowed.
through my mind the rest of the week.
I hope you’re not married, because I’d hate to be breaking the Tenth Commandment right here in shul.
I know I’m one of the chosen people but I just want to be chosen by you, baby
I like my women like I like my dreidels…..bottom heavy
I may not be Elisha but will you open the door anyway.
I only drink cholov yisroel, but I still ou d.
I think I just broke the omer. Because when I saw you my heart sang.
I wanna go bilam on you and hit that A$$ as hard as I can.
I wanna light your menorah.
I will undress you faster than the torah, so I can run my yad up and down your columns.
I would love to wonder in your wilderness for 40 years.
I’d make you an aguna, but if you want I can still tie you down.
I’ll be Moses, you can play with my staff, and I’ll scream “Let my people go!”
I’ll take you to the promised land.
I’m a chacham in yeshiva, but a rasha in bed.
If I raise my staff will it only part the sea?Awe?
If your legs are chag, can I visit you on hol ha-moed?
Instead of the torah, can I study your body 3 times a day?
Is your name nadav or avihu? ‘Cause you are smoking hot.
Is your Succah kosher? Cause the only stars I can see are in your eyes.
Israel’s south may be a desert, but my negec is overflowing.
It’s shavuos so we better go all night.
Just like the Ner Tamid, my love for you burns eternal.
Let me see your shirt tag, that’s right, made in Eden.
Lets do it adam and eve style, behind some bushes.
Like ma’oz tzur, I’m longer than you think.
My apples are just dying for your honey!
My name is Dovid. But they call me Goliat. Wanna find out why?
My nose isn’t the only thing that’s big…..
My people invented cirC^mcision….Your Welcome
Once you go Jew, no Christian will do.
Once you go Jew, nothing else will do.
Studying nezikin is fun, but I now what you really wanna study is my zraim.
That yarmulke would look great on my bedroom floor!
tomorrow morning.
don’t think I can keep that mitzvah.
The gates of repentance are always open…just like my heart for you.
The safe word is shibolet.
This saltwater reminds me of the tears that came to my eyes when I first saw you
Unlike the torah, I’m gonna put my hands all over you.
Want to go fiddle on a roof?
Want to party in my sukkah?
We could use that oil to light the menoah, but I’ve got a better idea…
We lost gaza. No need to lose the strip.
We won’t violate ba’al taschit if you swallow.
Whatever we do during the rabbi’s speech will be forgiven by neilah.
When is kippur? ‘Cause I want you on your knees.
When Korach sinned, the earth swallowed him up. When you’re naughty, I’ll swallow you up.
When you come to my house, the Mezuzah isn’t the only thing you will be touching!
Whether I use my mouth or my staff, I can make water flow from your rock.
Which commandment do you want to break?
Why is this night different than all other nights? I’ll show you why…
Will you let me put my candle near your labia menorah?
Will you let me shake your lulav?
Yo gurl don’t Jewish that you were mine
You better put that matzah away, because I’m going to make you wet.
You bring the apples i’ll bring the honey
You give me a lag b’oner.
You had me at Shalom.
You know how it is with Jewish culture, everything begins at sundown!
You look familiar. Did I read about you in shir hashirim?
You may not be a Moshe, but when you touch my snake it’ll turn right into a staff.
You might not make a minyan, but you are still a ten in my book.
You must be Egyptian because I’m a slave for you.
You must be Eve, because I want you to touch my nachash arum.
You must not be kosher for pA$$over because you’re makeing my matza rise.
God told us to go forth and multiply and I feel something going forth and multiplying as we speak
Got any Jewish in you? . . . Want some?
How about you and I make the dead sea C^m alive
I finally understand the true meaning of the Sabbath. It’s to give a girl like you a rest from running through my mind the rest of the week.
I hope you’re not married, because I’d hate to be breaking the Tenth Commandment right here in shul.
I may not be elisha but will you open the door anyway
I would love to wonder in your wilderness for 40 years
Is your Succah kosher? Cause the only stars I can see are in your eyes
I’ll take you to the promised land.
Once you go Jew, nothing else will do
are you the messiah, because i’ve been waiting for you
do you want to shake my luluv?
don’t worry i won’t pA$$over you
can i light your manorah?
do you want to try for 9 crazy nights?
yum kippur …do you want something to attone for on yom kippur?
want to party in my sukkah?
can i go into the promised land?
are you the milk or the honey i was promised?
you bring the apples i’ll bring the honey
which commandment do you want to brake?
can i come into your mA$$ada?
God just told me there was going to be a flood and i’ve decided to save you
i may not be elisha but will you open the door anyway
can i go into you garden of eden?
that’s not a magilla in my pants, it’s all me
want to go fiddle on a roof?
can i put out your burning bush?
lets do it adam and eve style, behinde some bushes
God told us to go forth and multiply and i feel some thing going forth and multiplying as we speak
do you want to see the mouel’s handy work?
can i put it in your diaspora?
once you go jew no christian will do
i would love to wonder in your wilderness for 40 years
you must not be kosher for pA$$over because you’re makeing my matza rise
if i raise my staff will it only part the sea?
do you want to blow my shofar
can i look for your horns?
do you want to try my hebrew national hotdog?
do you want to spin my dreidel?
hey baby, if you think my nose is big..or you know what they say about guys with big noses
Girl, I finally understand the true meaning of the Sabbath, its to give a girl a rest from running through my mind the rest of the week.
That’s a nice-looking yarmulke you’re wearing, but it would look even better lying next to my bed tomorrow morning.
I’ll take you to the promise land.
All I want for Channukah, is you.
wanna find the afikomen?
Let’s have a party, we’ll all dance the Hora.
I love Tu B’Shvat, cuz I love bush.
If I said you had a nice lulav, would you hold it against me?
Is your Sukkah kosher? Cause the only stars I can see are in your eyes
I see that you are dancing with the Torah. Mind if I cut in?
The first line of the Shma commands us to “Love the Lord with all your heart.” After meeting you, I don’t think I can keep that mitzvah.
In this shul, women are not called up to the torah. May I call you up at home?
Pray here often
Man, I can feel your menorah burning!
Does your door open at the seder?
As opposed to the Torah, you can hold in more places than the handles.
do u believe in god cause you just found one
how about you and i make the dead sea C^m alive
chai beautiful
can i dip my maror in your charoset
This saltwater reminds me of the tears that came to my eyes when i first saw you
Wait up, I don’t want kids, so i need a different kind of kippah.
hey whale, do you wanna swallow my jonah?
The gates of repentance are always open…just like my heart for you
If your left leg is Rosh Hashanah and your right leg is Yom Kippur, can I visit you during the days of Awe?
You had me at Shalom
If I unwrapped your gelt would you let me have a taste?
being a jew isnt the only thing thats hard
if you think i got lost in the desert for 40 years try looking in your eyes
after getting lost for 40 years ive think ive finally found what i was looking for
pA$$ the manoschovitz.lets get fershnicket
save a camel ride a jew
I can’t wait for Rosh Hashanah, cuz to start the new year I want some rosh
Girl, i wish you were a torah, so i could undress you and run my yad all up and down your columns…
I’d like to be the greeks in the Hannukah story and ransack your temple
I’d buy you for two zuzim!
my shtetel or your’s
how bout i play moses and u play with my staff
Unlike the torah, im gunna put my hands all over you
are u bat mitzvahed, cuz i need a woman?
i’ve got a penny in my pants…
is that a mezuzah in your pocket or are u just happy to see me?
You must bring out a whole new meaning to Chanukkah, cuz the fire in our eyes will never burn out!
psalm 81:10, “Open your mouth wide and I will fill it”
Rub my kepe
don’t look at me like i’m a falaful, i have feelings
can i put my chickapees in your pita
where’s ur affeokomen hidden?
i can use some 8 crazy nights with u….
friday night, no work…but can we still play…in the dark?
I have a steady, well paying job
i’ll make your matzo dough rise…
wanna read your torah portion with my yad?
keeping all the mizvot isn’t the only thing thats hard
i hate it when you say shalom but i love watching you walk away
you’ve got a putz for on your face (whats a putz for) i’ll show you.
can i drink from your miriam’s cup before we go to shul
it might not be kosher but i’d pork you
I’ve got a Tekiah Gadolah
Yeah, I see three stars, but two of them are in your eyes
You’re sweeter than Manischewitz.
why do they make 2 piece bikinis? to separate the dairy from the meat!!
let’s re-enact pA$$over. your pharo and i’m a frog that jumps all over you
gal i’m serving in the IDF & that’s not the only thing that’s hard
If you wore taffilin, would you start to put it on on this shoulder (Touch the shoulder nearest you) or THIS shoulder? (Put arm around her)
I wanna put my note in your kotel baby
We can do it until it Herzl.
Can I see your Lower East Side?
if your right leg is pA$$over and your left leg is shavuot, lets get together during the omer