What’s your gear ratio?
Wanna go on a post-date?
Wanna meet my Cobrasnake?
You’ve got bike courier eyes.
I’d like to have you on vinyl.
Do you want the wifi pA$$word? It’s DATE_ME.
Hi. I play harmonica in Arcade Fire. Wanna bang?
You would totally make it into Vice’s page of Do’s.
Yeah, I was kind of a big deal at last year’s Expozine.
I’ll stay with you longer than you’ve got student loans.
Unlike basic cable, I wouldn’t mind spending money on you.
Did you know that PBR actually stands for ‘Pretty Big Rod’?
Lemme add my app to your dashboard. If you know what I mean.
All relationships are transactional, so do you want to Venmo?
Hey, haven’t we had S#x in the bathroom at Green Room before?
Want to start a wolf-, fox- or crystal-related band together?
In bed, I’m just like my fixed-gear bike: Extremely hard to stop.
That ironic t-shirt you’re wearing would look better on my floor.
Want a good reason to get off your family’s cell phone plan? It’s me.
You remind me of millennial pink, because I want to see you EVERYWHERE.
I’ll call you avocado, because you’re toast — and get ready to be SPREAD.
Is it OK if I call you “Stranger Things”? Because you’re an 11 in my book.
You make my cheeks blush pinker than a $5 bottle of rose from Trader Joe’s.
Are you the economy and am I a Baby Boomer? Because I’m going to wreck you.
You’re like Warby Parkers, because when I’m with you I finally see clearly.
You’re like the chokers all the girls are wearing ‘cause dang you’re tight!
Is your name Whole Foods, because I’m about to drop my whole paycheck on you.
Are you my Spotify Discover Weekly playlist, because I want to just save you.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together at an Pixies show.
Can I call you Nitro Cold Brew? Because you’re making me shake uncontrollably?
Seriously baby, I’ll take you out as soon as this check clears from my parents.
Looks like your rent isn’t the only thing that’s rising out of control tonight.
You’re so pretty, the Snapchat beauty filter would actually make you look worse.
I’m better than SoulCycle, because you can spend 45 minutes riding me — FOR FREE.
Want to Netflix & Chill? I have my friend’s cousin’s college roommate’s pA$$word.
Is that a pair of vintage Ray Bans in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
You make my heart inflate more than those unicorn floaties everyone has on Instagram.
You must be a can of Pamplemousse LaCroix, because you’ve got me feeling bubbly inside.
I like you so much, you make me want to update my Facebook status to In a Relationship.
Do you work in a fair trade, single origin coffee shop? Because you can grind my beans.
Dang, you’re so beautiful you look just like the cactus on my kitchen window: SUCCULENT.
I want to have a Casual Encounter with you. Don’t make me have to write a Missed Connection.
You must be a 401k because all I want to do is SIGN UP. Also an employer match would be nice.
Is that an iPhone charger that I can borrow in your pocket, or are you just excited to see me?
You seem more like the LYFT than the Uber type, because you’re going to get the tip — and more.
My feelings for you are more complicated than the instructions to set up IKEA’s Malm bed frame.
Collection of funny hipster pick up lines. They’re obscure and you’ve probably never heard them.
Hey girl, is that an original Yo La Tengo 7” in your pants? Because your butt is extremely valuable.
Guy: Hey, do you have any pretentious avant-garde photographer in you? Girl: Um, no. Guy: Want some?
You look familiar; didn’t I see you writhing around on the filthy floor of a dive bar on Last Night?
Are those Nudie Limited Edition Masa Japan jeans from outer space? Because your A$$ is out of this world.
Looking at you makes my head spin more than when I try to figure out how to sign up for health insurance.
Maybe it’s just the PBR talking, but I could see myself in a non-monogamous relationship with you, or whatever.
I’d like to borrow you for an evening — and also your HBOGo pA$$word because I need to catch up on Game of Thrones.
When did it hurt more: When you fell from heaven, or when you were turned down from an entry level job for not having 3-5 years of experience?
Why should you date me? I’m like that outfit from ASOS you’re wearing: cute-looking, budget friendly, and if you don’t like me you can return me after 90 days.
