You look a lot like my next-girlfriend.
That outfit is very becoming on you. Of course, if I were on you I’d be C^mming too.
Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?
Do you work for UPS? ‘Cause I swear I saw you checking out my package!
Is that a mirror in your pocket ’cause I can see myself in your pants.
My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can’t hold it in.
There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can’t take them off of you.
Your body’s name must be Visa, because it’s everywhere I want to be.
I’m sine squared theta; you’re cosine squared theta. Together we are one.
I want to be your derivative so I can be tangent to your curves.
I got arrested the other day. [For What?] For having two guns and a six pack.
Can I have directions? [‘to where’] To your heart!!
Did it hurt? [‘what?’] When you fell from heaven.
If I was a squirrel, I’d bust a nut in your hole.
Hi. You’re looking mightily mediocre and I would like to buy you a medium priced drink.
If your right leg’s Christmas and your left leg’s Thanksgiving, can we meet between the Holidays?
The word of the the day is legs. Let’s go to your house and spread the word.
If you were a burger at McDonalds, you would be called McGorgeous!
Mind if I grab a hold of your scuppers and climb aboard?
That’s a nice dress. It’d look great on the floor next to my bed.
Are your pants made of mirrors? Because I can see myself in them.
You will come home with me tonight.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.
You know how kryptonite makes Superman weak? Well, you’re my kryptonite, and I’m him.
I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I’d make your bed rock.
Hey baby, was your daddy a thief? Because you definitely seem like you were raised by felons.
Let’s go home and play house you’ll be the door and I’ll practice slamming you!
May I swab ye’ poop deck?
Scream and I will kill the kitten!
Want to play army? I’ll lie down and you can blow the hell out of me!
I love every bone in your body, especially the one in my pants.
You look lovely, I would be honored if you will accompany me to a modestly priced meal at Red Lobster and then a night of romantic movies and board games.
I’ve got a magic watch that says your not wearing any panties [‘I am’]. Oh. It must be an hour fast.
You must work at Subway ’cause you’re giving me footlongs!
Do you know how much a polar bear weighs? Enough to break the ice.
I know calculus. It says U+Me=Us.
You know, I’m the one responsible for those crop circles in England …
Would you help me look for my lost dog? I think he ran into that cheap motel room.
Got any Irish [Italian, Asian, etc.] in you? [Significant pause.] Want some?
If I said you had a nice body would you hold it against me?
Your name must be Mickey, because you’re so fine. You’re so fine you blow my mind. Hey Mickey.
So I hear you like to eat off of other people’s meal plans…
Hey Baby, you look like a TI-89….because I want to put my natural log in you!