Best Backyard Homestead Pick Up Lines

by Maria Line

Speaking of raised beds…
You don’t look so baaaad standing there with all those goats.
Do you prefer Merlot or Cabernet? Because I think we should start making our own wine.
Your organic garden or mine?
Are you as loud as your chickens?
Want to help me germinate my seeds?
What do you say we get out of here and free range somewhere green?
Best Backyard Homestead Pick Up Lines
Best Backyard Homestead Pick Up Lines
Can I strum my banjo and sing you to sleep?
How big does your squash grow?
I’d love to preserve this moment.
You smell as good as a bundle of lavender tied with twine.
What’s your ideal harvest season?
Would you like to be served warm home baked bread with hand churned butter in the morning?
I love making pickles, do you?
I’ll trade you a juicy cantaloupe for some of your cuC^mbers.
Your eggs are so big.
My cast-iron skillet could really use some love. Can you help?
I’ve never seen a Standard so big. Impressive.
When I’m canning with you, this urban blight just fades away.
Your heirloom tomatoes are the juiciest I have ever tasted.
Those wood shavings look so soft and comfortable, like a bed.
You’re like a sweet honeybee stinging my heart.
So what CAN you feed your chickens and better yet, what can you hand feed me?
Our love could be like heirloom vegetable strong.
This compost soil is so dark and rich… like I like my men.
I can only imagine what’s underneath that bee suit.
If you were a berry, I would bottle you up as jam and enjoy you all winter long.
That honey is thick and runny on your fingers. Mmmmm…
You would be the perfect fruit of my labor.
I wish I could harvest you at peak season.
So roosters are also called c0©ks? That’s funny.
That white linen summer dress you sewed yourself would look great on my floor.
Is this farm table sturdy enough for me to throw you down on?
Your broccoli heads are so big!
How about I wear these Carhartts and we plant seeds together?
You sure do know how to handle your chicken coop wire.
These mason jars fit perfectly in my hand. I bet you would too.
Do these plums feel ripe to you?
What do you say to a little foraging in the woods?
I want to LEED certify you!
Want to make pies together?
Why drive when you could ride on my handlebars to the farmer’s market?
I bet we would brew good beer together.
I know this might sound cheesy, but I love everything artisan about you.
If you were a pea, I would gladly shell you on the back porch.
You just made me as red as a beet!
No one installs a fence post quite like you.
Can I interest you in some of my compost?
I’d like to make you my backyard bounty.
I’d like to raise your barn.

Tags: Backyard, Farm, Farming, Homestead, Jobs, Occupation, profession,

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